Our Hangout

How much do we love God II

Last week I came accross a post that led me to post on this...this is a follow up post.

Originally the quote that got my attention was this...

"I will love God only as much as I love the person I dislike the most." ~"Prayer: Conversing with God" by Rosalind Rinker

I liked this quote because it reminded me of John's words that tell us if we say we love God but don't love our brothers/sisters, we are liars...

Why was this particularly important these past few weeks? Well it's simple. In the next two months we will be celebrating the second aniversary since my grandmother's death. My grandmother died of cancer and during the period that led to her death our family fell apart. No, not at the fact that we were losing someone we all loved...but because of money. As the person that was asked to handle those details, as well as funeral arrangements. etc...I heard words that you never expect to hear from people whom you grew up with, people whom you loved all your life.

It's been almost two years since I'd heard from them. I've missed them deeply although there was no room to talk. I've loved them deely, even though some of these same people are responsible for the abuse that I suffered early on in my life.

This was the opportunity. The opportunity to walk away and leave it all behind. With one exception. The truth is, and you can disagree with me...but in my heart I know...I only love God as much as I'm able to love them. I'm called to forgive them as I was forgiven while I was still a sinner.

Last Sunday I was invited to a lunch. A lunch where most of us would be together since my grandmothers funeral service I conducted. And so we went. And so we met. We didn't talk about the past. We just talked. We didn't deal with the pain, we just got together. We didn't try to fix anything...we just spend a few hours together.

I had the opportunity to hug Debbie, my cousin whom I love and miss deeply and tell her I loved her. I didn't plan to say it, but I just missed her so much I couldn't help it and so we held each other and just kept repeating those words to one another. The sad part, she's just a kid, she wasn't part of all the stuff that happened, she was just a victim of the results.

As for the rest of the family...the pain is still too much for some. And so they weren't there. But I'm glad that I went. I'm glad because the door as been opened once again. And once again we can grow together. And once again, Jesus can shine in our relationship. And maybe, just maybe they'll discover his deep, gracious, and forgiving love...in my love. Even when at times the barrage of angry words comes sweeping back to my mind and they still hurt. But I'm learning to let go when they come and remember...Jesus loves them.

And so, I believe...truly....I can only love God as much as I love the person I like the least.

The point...as a Christian I have to imitate My master who did something about loving someone who at one time was unlovable. He took the initiative and he won my heart. And he calls me to do the same thing...those people who you like the least...take the initiative, show them what grace and unconditional love is and as you do...introduce them into the author of love.

We love, because God first loved us!

Posted by ed | TrackBack