Our Hangout

About Accountability

The dialogue on the recent "Pastoring" post has caused me to think about accountability.

There's lots of talk that goes on in church circles about accountability, but in truth there's very little accountability that goes on.

At best, and yes, this is just my opinion, what most people call accountability is what I think of as "controlled revelation."

Here's what I mean by that...
We invite people to speak into our lives, but don't really let them into all the areas of our lives - although I believe you could/should have more than one person speaking into different areas of your life.

However, those areas we let others speak into, are often shallow and don't allow them to see who we really are, or what's really going on in the heart. We confess things that are easy to confess and we present them with what we want them to see.

Often we'll pick someone and we let the whole world know they're our accountability partner, but when we talk the conversation never goes really deep, or how deep it needs to go. This makes us feel good about ourselves, without ever really being accountable.

Church history tells us that at one point in the early church, when you became a Christian (and I don't know how this worked) you were assigned? to a more mature Christian - this person was a part of your life for the first year of your journey. You spent tonnes of time together and they served as, what we would call a mentor today. But they walked with you and they got to really speak into your life.

If accountability is to really be accountability, the people who have permission to speak into your life, must have permission to see your life as it really is and speak into it deeply.

The nature of this shows how carefully we should choose our accountability partners. They should be people who are not afraid to challenge you on anything and everything. But they should also be people whose desire is to see Christ formed in you and not just to point out your faults - that's how Satan works - not God.

There are plenty of people that would love to speak into your life! Some of them, outright hurtful people are easy to spot - STAY AWAY! But sometimes even very well meaning friends, have their vision clouded by all kinds of other issues. Sometimes, you can't know this until you're in the relationship - but even if you've asked someone to speak into your life, if they start doing it in ways that aren't to heal and help you become more like Christ. For your own good - take away that permission - just because someone wants or things they should speak into your life, it doesn't mean you have to let them. Be gentle and respectful...but protect yourself.

Choose wisely, and accountability will be something that will deepen your journey with Jesus.

Finally...find someone and let them speak into your life. Let it be someone you can trust with your heart, someone who you know won't judge, but will lovingly point out what will make you more like Christ...and listen to them, because Jesus will have a lot to say to you through them.

Posted by ed | TrackBack