Our Hangout

Too much pain...

About three years ago I fiddled with the idea of writing some fiction. As I pondered the events of this past week, and the pain I've seen and heard about, I remembered a, very, short story I wrote then. So, this is not the first time I post this here. I was just reminded that sometimes the pain is just too much. And pain without relational support equals loneliness and, sometimes, worst...

It was late. It was quiet. She was alone.

The bathroom was dimly lit by candlelight, creating a sense of peace and serenity. Her world was anything but peaceful. She lay motionless in her bathtub, not really enjoying the moment. She didn't remember the last time she had enjoyed anything. Things were so different than she had hoped for. It had only been five months.

She had come to this place looking for a new start, for a chance, just like the many teenagers who arrived daily. This was the land of opportunity, the place where dreams come true. The place where little girls became big stars. She wondered if dreams ever really came true.

She had left everything; family, friends, everything she'd ever known. No one understood her, no one listened; no one cared. So, late one night, she got on a bus and never looked back again, until just now.

What would it be like to return? What would her parents do? She had watched movies where parents welcomed and embraced the prodigal child with open arms. But those were only movies, stories, this was real life. If they knew the places she'd been, the things she'd done, no, they, dad, would never forgive.

She'd never been good enough; her friends were always the wrong friends, her music was the wrong music, her choices were always the wrong choices. No, dad would never forgive. Why? Had she really been that bad? It didn't matter now. There were no tears this time. She had cried before, those first few nights, months. But not anymore, the tears ran out long ago. She had never felt so alone.

She tried to laugh, the sound was barely audible. This town that made stars of so many people had killed so many dreams, so many hopes. It put out so many lights. She was tired. She needed to sleep. She didn't want to wake up anymore.

Bottles littered the bathroom floor. She couldn't see through the water anymore. Cold. Numb. She closed her eyes.

Posted by ed