Our Hangout

Nina's funny school story...

So this year Nina started school. We kept her home for Jk and she started Sk. Her favourite part of school. Riding on the bus. That's what she'll tell you if you ask. And this has led to a funny story early on in her schooling.

This is how the bus driver tells the story. She picked up a bus load of kids at our corner and took them all to school. When there all the kids got off. She then proceeded to leave for home. About half way home as she was approaching a set of train tracks, she heard a voice directly behind her; "ooh, train tracks." She looked back and to her surprise there was Nina, thoroughly enjoying the ride. So she asked her; "Nina, what are you doing here?", to which Nina replied; "I didn't want to get off the bus." So, Jodi, the bus driver, turned around and brought Nina to school, again.

After finding this out we also found out that each one of our kids did this when each of them started school.

Camping Photos Up, finally

Here after some time are the photos from our holidays. Some really fun ones. Lots of great ones taken by Vania. Just click on photo above to link to all the photos.

We're Back!

We had a good vacation camping at Long Point Provincial Park over the last two weeks. Bit too much rain for my taste, but over the years we've learned to deal with rain without it detracting too much from our holidays, although a little more sun is always more welcome. On the plus side, even with rain it was always warm enough to be in a tank top, day and night.

Didn't lose any kids this year! Although Vun ate something that didn't agree with her system that had us call the ambulance and go to the hospital in the middle of the night. But it didn't last too long and she was fine the next morning.

This just happened to be the first picture I took on our holidays, so it's the one I'm posting. I'll have the rest posted on my flickr site later on, I don't know when, but hopefully soon.

Anyday has come...

UPDATE! I forgot to mention that he weighed 8 pounds. Just a little more than all the rest. The midwife visited last night and mentioned that if all births were like this she wouldn't be a midwife. And I suppose we wouldn't have five kids. And lastly, he peed for the first time last night, all over dad.

Well after all the false labour and after making the last one, the hardest of all DeFreitas' births. Emerson Ayerton Willik DeFreitas is home.

Emerson was born yesterday morning, 22nd of May, 2008 at 5:15AM. Emerson was stuck for the longest time not being able to go into the birth canal. I'll spare you the story. Long story short, after a very painful night for my beautiful, although very tired wife, Emerson was born. Contractions started at 8AM the previous day.

We're all happy to have Emerson home. You can see more photos of Emerson by linking to the photo above.

False Alarm!

Update: If didn't read the post yet, yesterday Vania was in labour all day long. She was also throwing up along with having other movements, anyway, that along with contractions is a sure sign that the baby is coming, most of the time. Today Vania feels much better and no contractions and no baby coming. So, the best we can figure it out, she got some kind of bug. The throwing up etc, led to the contractions, but that's as far as it went. Like I said, she feels much better today. Anyway, disappointing. It'll come when it's ready though.

Vania's been saying like she's feeling like it's going to be different with this kid. Well, so far this is proving to be true. We started the day with the onset of labour. And went through the whole affair until about 6PM and then, it all just stopped. No more contractions, just stopped.

Now, false labour is not unheard of, however, it's never happened to us. So doing that for a whole day kind of brings you to a place of expectancy, and when it just stops, it leaves you, well, not knowing what to do, say, think...it leaves you wondering if baby's ok?

Anyway, baby seems to be ok, although a lot less active, but if I'd gone through what he went through today, I probably would be inactive as well. And so, now, we wait. Vania's trying to keep herself busy cleaning this and that...

It could be that we might still make it to the hospital tonight, but who knows. Okay, God does.

March Break - not so much fun

Marcelo had the chance at the very first ride down the hill with his brother. Something he was not happy about. Luckily, it was so cold, the bleeding stopped almost immediately. He had a nice bruise for a couple of days last week. It was a lot bloodier before he wiped his nose, but I didn't have a chance to take the shot quick enough, although you get the idea. Unfortunately, the fall ruined the rest of the morning for him, not a great first experience for him, although I doubt it'll stop him from trying next time, hopefully, not till next winter though.

March Break Fun

This past week we had a chance to do a few things with the family for March break. One of them being tabogganing and another swimming. Tabogganing provided lots of fun, swimming left Lucas and I sick. All in all - great family fun. Lucas is swimming in the deep end and even using the diving board. Very cool. I still know more than he does so he gets pretty impressed by backflips off the diving board and canon balls and the sort...I'm sure that will change soon. It was fun to be able to take the time off with the kids.

As the weather is changing, I find myself taking more pictures, now. My photo show at the local cafe is also coming up in two weeks. We just decided on the pictures going into the show. Really looking forward to it.

Spring here yet?

This is our house after this past weekend's Winter storm. There is a different intensity to the sunshine and a completely different hue to the sky. It would seem, if not here yet, Spring is just about to break through.

I have a bunch of confused little birds that hang around a bush in my back yard wondering if they made a wrong turn when they migrated this time.

A smile from little Mr. DeFreitas...

This is the latest addition to the DeFreitas clan. Here's a smile from the little guy. How do we know it's "Mr." DeFreitas, well, we saw a lot more than just the smile. :)

Xanda Excells

I wish this picture was not blurry, but a quick shot, bad gym conditions, a kid who won't sit still are all the excuses I'm going to hold on to :)

Normally, when it comes to scholastic efforts, I'm usually talking about Lucas. However, this time, it's Xanda's turn, well it's sort of both, but Xanda came out on top.

Once again speech time came along, and fortunately, for us parents, it is now done! I wonder who works harder? Anyway, I digress. Lucas did his speech on "The other George of the Jungle, my dad" and Xanda did her speech on "Marcelo."

In terms of work effort, in typical Lucas form, he coasted, while Xanda worked pretty hard at her speech. In the end, Lucas new his pretty well, and Xanda, had hers almost completely memorized. Lucas was chosen as the alternate to represent his class in front of the school. And Xanda was chosen to represent her class.

We had hoped that this would be a teaching lesson for Lucas, as he didn't really bother getting ready, if just in case, as the alternate, he still had to do his speech, but he was having nothing to do with it. Wouldn't you know it, a kid doesn't show up and Lucas has to do his speech - as for the lesson, never learned anything, as he did a pretty good job - never learned that if he actually practiced, he could have easily moved on to the next level. Having said that, Lucas and Xanda were in the same competing group for the next level - going to the local legion. Out of the kids who made it to the gym, in their group, two go on to represent the school and one is the alternate. Last year Lucas was the alternate. This year Xanda was chosen as the alternate. Meaning that her speech and presentation was chosen over his. And she would have easily been chosen as a representative, if she hadn't rushed through her speech. It was cute, as she shaved a minute from her speech without loosing any of the content. All good, she did a great job.

It's not often that scholastically Xanda does a better job than Lucas, so that was some accomplishment on her part. And I think that, most of all, made Lucas think twice about his efforts, or lack thereof. It's never fun being beat out by your younger sibling.

Anyway, in the end, although both of them did well, yesterday was Xanda's turn to shine.

Kids Christmas Program

Our Kids Christmas School Play "Broadway Santa" was yesterday evening. Lucas played the part of Mr. Hathaway, a broadway producer, above. And Xanda played the part of an elf, below. They both had a lot of fun.

Unconventional

We've let a few people here and there in on it, but have not made an official announcement, so here goes.

This is Vania, three months pregnant with our fifth child.

We're Back!

We got back Sunday morning at 1:55AM.

In a nutshell, we had a great time! NOEL and all.

The longer version...

14 family members going down to spend two weeks anywhere could be a challenge for the best and closest of families. It could have made or broken this experience. Going down, we were hoping but not sure of which one it would be. As we expected, with very few things, not worth mentioning, people got along splendidly without a family breakdown :)

Cuba is a wonderful place for our family because most of us speak Portuguese. And, if you speak portuguese you can make yourself easily understood in Spanish. Some of us also, actually, speak Spanish or Portuspanish which allows us to communicate even more.
As a result we love to get to know the people and in the short time we have, actually develop some relationships, and hopefully, make a tiny, but memorable difference in their lives. Although I think our lives are much more touched than theirs.

Every time I go to Cuba (twice now) I struggle. Am I supporting a system that's oppressive? And all the rest of the questions worth asking. But we as a family have resolved that when we go, we don't just go to "take", but to "learn, get to know and give." This time we involved our kids in that process and it was pretty cool to see. Don't get me wrong. I definitely go for the R&R. I could easily live in Cuba in terms of it's people and it's weather. Who knows, maybe one day we'll be doing church there. I could handle that.

As for our experience. My favourite, fun, experience was two-fold. Catamaran rides and a Jeep Safari. The resort had Catamarans and you could just sign up and go on them. And I wish I had made better use of them, because it was simply wild. I didn't go on it 'till the fifth day there and decided I would go on it again every day, the next day, Tropical Storm Noel hit. Fortunately, Vun and I were able to get another ride in on the day we left, one week later. All good.

We also went on a Jeep Safari where I was able to drive through crazy muddy country roads, ride a Jet ski, spend several hours talking to our guide about Cuba and Cuban life (he was very open, perhaps more than he should have been) and we got to vist a Cuban Cigar factory (that's an overstatement) a Cuban home and a Cuban Farm.

Cuban people are awesome. And if you're willing to communicate with them, and not be an stuck up, rude tourist, they treat you like one of the family. "Mi Casa es su casa" (My house is your house) really is their motto. And although not a lot of tourists get to experience that, if you're willing your experience will be enriched.

Some things about Cuba and Cuban life. Cuba has an incredible social structure. Often there's a danger that we just see our system as what should be and condemn what looks different. Don't get me wrong, I'm not backing up everything about Cuban structure, there is oppression, there is lack of freedom, there is only one social class and everyone only gets what they need, not necessarily what they want, to live (although I'm not sure that's a bad thing), but it does create a lack of hope ("no matter what I do, it won't make a difference." But there are good things. Education is free. As long as you are applied and want to study, the government will pay for you. Including sending you out of the country to study. There is no homelessness (even the village drunk is cared for). Doctors and medicine are also free. Because Cuban resources are limited, the Cuban government chooses to use it's resources to get resourses. For example they export their sugar at a higher price and import sugar from other places at a lower price. They also, and this is one of those things that I don't like, forbid their people from eating beef, so they can use beef at resorts to keep tourists happy. Just an aside. As a Christian, if you go to Cuba, you might choose not to eat beef, trust me, you won't go hungry. Cuban's meat staple is Pork and Chicken, just in case you think the beef thing is unfair, and I believe it is, having said that, Pork and Chicken is still better than most of the rest of the world gets.

Cuba's greatest revenue? No, not tourism, but Professionals. They train, then send professionals (doctors etc.) overseas. The countries they are sent to then pay the Cuban government directly and the Government puts a portion (rather small) of what they were paid, into an account for the worker. When they (proffessional) returns to Cuba they can use the money to buy what they want, usually a house. Although you buy things, ultimately, there is an understanding, that it all belongs to the goverment. That is, you can buy a house and it's yours to do with as you please, although if the government came and claimed it, it is theirs to do with as they please, having said that, that doesn't typically happen (if at all these days.) Cuban life expectancy is over 80 years old.

It is my personal belief that a few minor changes Cuba would be an even better place. Freedom to travel. Freedom to accomplish. I don't think the answer in a place like Cuba is "just get rid of communism and replace it with capitalism." Yes, we have more freedom, but I also think we are slaves to more things that the Cuban people are. Just a thought I had while I was there.

In the end, the Cuban people are a happy people. They love life. And they love community and relationnship. And they are genuinely happy to have you there and long for you to come to their homes and visit with them. They long for a little more freedom and hope for a future that's different and offers more hope. I hope for that for the friends we made in this trip to Cuba as well.

Although this is on the long side, this barely touches on the realities of Cuban life. There are other oppressive things and other things they're doing right.

I did rest and I did enjoy myself, and yes, including the pleasures of the ocean, and the pool and everything else that the resort had to offer, including the rain (rained the whole second week - enjoyed that too). And as a family we played lots.

So, this was a great experience in every way.

Elvis, no sorry, the DeFreitas' have left the building

The day has come. Although we will only be leaving over the next two days (different people on different flights.) We are leaving Port, for Cuba, in a matter of hours. However, I'm putting away my computer as of right now. That means, no, I will not be taking it with me. No, I will not be checking e-mail. No, I will not be posting pictures until I return. No, I will not be preaching over the next two weeks, except with my life. No, I can't think of anything else...

Have a great time, while I'm away. Tchau, or I should say, Adios............................................

Mom's Words Video

Okay, I haven't uploaded a video in a long time...this isn't mine, but came accross it last night and thought any mom looking at this would like this...so here it is. Pass it on to your other mom friends.

Enjoy!

Father, Son - Date

Lucas and I spent all day Saturday in Toronto. We went to see the Jays vs. Devil Rays. However, as I thought would happen, Lucas lasted all of three innings. Good thing the tickets were free. Nice tickets too, two rows back from the visiting team dug out.

We actually spent more time touring the Skydome (Rogers Center) than anything else. Walked up all the way to the very top, scaring Lucas, who is very afraid of heights. Besides that, Lucas rode the subway for the very first time, which seemed to be the highlight of his day.

He wore his wheelies, mom's idea, so he had lots of places to roll around, especially on the Skyway and the Rogers Center. But his most favourite place to wheel, the subway. He soon discovered that if he timed it right as the Subway was slowing down to come into the station if he just stood there, he could wheel from one end of the train car to the other. The worst part, he screamed all the way up and down the car. I wanted to tell him to be quiet, but he was having so much fun, I just let him go. Clearly, something the Torontonian subway riders were not used to.

It was a good Father, son date. You can see all the pictures right here.

School's Out / Summer's In

Today Xanda ended grade one and Lucas ended grade 2. As usual, the school year ended with an awards ceremony, where both Lucas and Alexandra got awards. I'm glad Xanda got an award, we didn't know she was going to, but this time she didn't have to feel like Lucas is the one who gets all the awards. She beamed when she received the "Takes Initiative Award." I'll have to read the fine print, so it makes sense (i.e. classroom/school helper/volunteer; citinzenship; good ambassador; helps others on the yard). That sounds a lot like her.

We were called last week to make sure we were at the awards ceremony as Lucas was getting a special award, we were also asked to keep it a secret. We did pretty well, except, this morning Vun told Lucas to change clothes and put something nicer on, that was enough to tell him he'd be getting an award today, he only shared that later in the day. Anyway, Lucas got the "Grade 2 Proficiency Award" - I don't have the fine print except to say, he's considered a very good student. This award got him an actual trophy. Xanda's award was in print, but it might has well have been the greatest trophy available according to her.

Both of them brought home their report cards and I think it's time I stop sharing how many A's Lucas got, except to say, he improved every single term, Lucas style - he even brought his phys. ed. to a B+ from a C last term. Both Lucas and Xanda's last report card was their best this year. Xanda, however, blew us away by changing her Math mark from a D+ last term to an A- this term.

Anyway, we were proud of both of them. We'd still be proud without the awards, but it's neat to see their feeling of accomplishment as a result of their hard work. And I must say, they, especially Xanda worked really hard this year. A lot of it just comes naturally to Lucas, but Xanda works for every + or -, so it was great for her to see that there is a payoff to her hard work.

So, school's out. But starting tomorrow Vun's doing a two week homeschooling trial with the kids. We don't know how it's going to work out, but it will have some input as to whether Vun homeschools one or more of the kids this coming Fall. If you remember, pray for her. I think she's going to need it.

Speeches

The last month has had the DeFreitas household burried in the depths of school speeches.

This year Lucas did his speech on the topic of "Pokemon" - one of his favourite cartoon series.

Xanda did her speech based on the book "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Both speeches were top notch, thanks to mom.

Good things that came out of this years speeches. One, both Lucas and Xanda were chosen from their class to go to the Gym. Xanda was one of two grade ones chosen, but was the only one who was able to actually do her speech. Jessica, the other girl, and one of Xanda's friends was just too nervous. It was one of those moments where you just wanted to walk up and hug the kid.

Grades 1-3 are judged together. So I was a very proud daddy watching my little girl up there competing with the grade threes and doing a very good job at it. Vania and I were more nervous than the kids, and Vania says if I saw what I looked like (lots of sign language coaching Xanda - I probably would have thought twice. Nahhhh.

Nadine, a wonderful grade three girl, and also friend from our church, got first place. She definitely did a bang up job on a speech about her best friend. Another grade two girl got second place and although the speech wasn't as exciting (just my opinion, she had it completely memorized with names and dates about the girl guides.)

Lucas was the runner up, and did his speech the best I'd heard him do it. Unfortunately, he lost his place once. It cost him second place. All good. You probably won't remember, but last year Lucas was heartbroken as he was runner up from his class and never made it to the gym. Came home crying and everything, and in the midst of those Lucas fits got angry.

Yesterday his words were, "that's ok, it's only a speech." We reassured him of how well he'd done, but I think most of all I was pleased with his response at not winning.

We gave Xanda a bouquet of roses per her request and Lucas is not sure what he'd like.

They're both already talking about next year's speeches. I know it's early, but knowing Lucas, I wouldn't be surprised if he wins next year. That's just how he gets motivated. Last year he wasn't motivated and was runner up to the gym. This year he barely tried and was runner up to the Legion. Now he knows he can do it and is very motivated. Slow process for him, oh well, all good.

We were both really proud of both our kids yesterday. I think in terms of the speeches Xanda's was next best to Lucas, and if she hadn't been nervous and had done her actions I think she would have taken top spot. But that's alright, we just keep encouraging them to try and as long as they do that's good enough.

I can't imagine being that old and standing in delivering a speech to a room full of people. So it was really cool.

Lucas' words afterwards, "I wasn't nervous because you and mommy were there."

I don't have any pictures because we forgot our camera, but it probably would have been distracting to them anyway, so it was probably a good thing that we forgot.

Great job kiddos..........

Do you have a cat?

This past weekend Mark & Davika visited us on Friday evening. This was the first time we saw Mark & Davika since moving to Port Colborne a year and a half ago.

We talked lots and caught up and somewhere in our time together we decided to give them a tour of the house. Now this was by far the most eventful house tour we have ever given. The tour itself went much the same as the other tours. We talked about how big the house was and how old and how much potential it has. That means, how much work there is to do. Anyway, eventually we ended up in our attic which someday we hope to convert into our master bedroom.

Anyway, we were in the attic, talking for about 4-5minutes discussing the different possibilities of what we could do with the space. When Davika casually asked, "Do you guys have a cat?" We looked at her, surprised, and said, "no." At that point, just as casually, Davika asked us who the cat lying on the mattress in the middle of the room (in front of all of us) belonged to.

Vania and I were floored. There was an attic living in our attic! It's a cat that we have known since he was a kitten in our neighbourhood, back when we moved in. Anyway, every once in a while it comes into the garage and if it finds the kitchen door open, it tries to high tail it to our attic. I've always caught it way before that happens.

The best we can figure it, it must have been up there for a week. As last weekend when we were ripping off the wall paper upstairs, would have been the last time the garage and the attic would have been open at the same time. But we never heard it all week. So we can't be sure. There's no other access to the attic, so it had to come in through the door downstairs.

Anyway, it must have been pretty hungry as it let me pick it up and bring it back downstairs. Before I did, I had this vision of being clawed to death. But it was very friendly as I brought him down, opened the door and put it out in the cold. I hated to do that, but the thought of having a cat doesn't fit into this family's plans.

So, you know, it's a street cat! So, there's no fear of it dying out in the cold. Our street has lots of street cats. They come with owners and soon they decide they don't want to go back home. The previous owners here used to feed most of them. So, it's not uncommon for us to have three, even four cats streched out in our driveway or front lawn.

Senzenina's B-day (the party)

This past weekend we celebrated Senzenina's fourth birthday in a joint party with her friend Brenna.

It was a great time! You can see some pictures here.
In some ways it seems like she's so much older than that. She's awesome and fun.

On the side, the picture above is of the birthday cake Vania made. She's doing some really cool cakes lately. Using her artsy fartsy giftedness in a new way.

Happy Birthday Nina!

Today was Senzenina's 4th birthday. Party won't take place 'till the weekend. However, she got to choose the menu for dinner, hot dogs and cherry tomatoes with a side of carrot sticks and dip. For desert she wanted a true delicacy, Timbits.

She's really excited to be four. She thinks she gets to start school tomorrow. Xanda's doing. She'll be disappointed.

At four, Nina is a fun loving little girl. She is the most sensitive of all our children. All I have to do is raise my voice very slightly and she falls apart. And then needs to be consoled for a long long time. She always wants to know that she's loved. And she's quick to tell you that she loves you and that you are cool (if you're a boy) and beautiful (if you're a girl.) Nina excells at gymnastics, her first report card was clad in A's, she loves it. Her one quirk is that she absolutely cannot sit still. She watches TV while jumping on the couch. She removes the cushions from the living room couch and begins to jump and doesn't stop until her show ends. It's something to watch. Actually, I should get a video of it up, yup, that's what I'll do.

Don't know if you've noticed or not, but all our families birthdays fall pretty close together. Xanda (Oct.) Marcelo (Dec) Me (Dec.) Nina (January) Lucas (March) Vania (April). Vania says that with long weekends and our birthdays, with the exception of two months, we have something to party about all year long. Now if we can plan a baby in November and one in February we'll have the whole year covered. Just kidding. But as Vania's mom likes to say, until the snippy, snippy happens, all things are possible. But, I digress.

Happy Birthday Senzenina!!!

Exciting Weekend - Part II

Yesterday was my 37th birthday. As the service was ending. Will D. (good friend) basically walked to the front and said he was taking over. He then announced my birthday. Everyone sang Happy Birthday. At which point a cake with candles showed up out of nowhere. And then I was invited to the front, people laid hands on me and prayed for me. It was a very moving time for me.

I was completely surprised by this. I really, really didn't expect it and so it just blew me away.

The picture above is of the "Lucas Pizza Cookie." A few months ago, while Vania was making chocolate chip cookies. Lucas had an idea, why not add marshmallows to the recipie. Well, it was the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot. Anyway, yesterday, he baked me one. Pizza size. I'd love to tell you it'll last, but we're going on the last few crumbs. Thanks Lucas.

At the end of the day, after the kids were put to bed. Vania and I headed over to a neighbours house and watched the Survivor finalle with them. Yull won. Which I'd called from the first day. It was a really cool time of connecting. We ended up talking till 12:30am. They're a really neat couple and we look forward to spending more time with them.

All in all, a very fun and fulfilling birthday.

Sick, yeah right...

Lucas went on a school trip with mom this morning. Except instead of going back to school after the trip, he came home with mom, supposedly sick. He was afraid of coming into the house because of what I might think. A well founded fear as he didn't look and wasn't sick. Mom's a little easier to fool. Vun said that he had looked sick on the bus. The rule in our house is that if you come home sick, you must stay in bed until the bus drives by at the end of the day. So, he spent the afternoon in bed.

Somewhere during the afternoon I went up to talk to him. When I mentioned to him that he didn't look very sick, his answer, "Well, I'm am sick. Sick of school!" It would have served him better to keep up the charade. Lucas has never been a very good liar, which I'm glad for.

The stay in bed for the rest of the day rule is going to change. From now on if he comes home sick and he isn't, he's going right back.

Marcelo's Birthday

Blowing out his first birthday candle...

Blowing up his first birthday cupcake....

Marcelo's just turned one and as of one week ago he's started walking.

We had a quiet celebration with just the family and our good friend Erin.

Lots of fun

Happy Birthday Marshmallow, Marcello, that fellow. (all the names I like to call him)

I know it doesn't only happen to us...

Now, I know this kind of stuff doesn't only happen to us, but the amount of times stuff like this comes our way just sucks.

Imagine standing at the bus stop waiting for your kids to get off the bus and one does and the other doesn't.

Now, imagine the bus driver looks at you, with a surprised look, and tells you that, apparently, someone else picked up your daughter.

Now, imagine your son telling you that he didn't see his sister at lunch time or at afternoon recess.

Are you getting the picture yet?

So, Vania walks in the house, freaking out and less than 20 seconds later I'm driving like a madman to the kids school. I'm praying, "God, please no!" I'm also looking through my pockets for my medication because this kind of stress has a way of bringing about seizures and this is just the not the right time. No medication. "God, please no!"

I run into the school office, no one at the office. I track down Xanda's old teacher and let her know Xanda is missing. Instant Pandemonium. She disappears and I'm left at the office, with someone who's now come in and is asking questions with a puzzled look on her face that says, "this can't really be happening!" I'm trying to be clear, and I know how it sounds. "My daugther did not get off the bus... No! She never got on the bus!....The bus driver said that she was told she'd been picked up already!....My son didn't see her at lunch or at afternoon recess!

And then it happens, Xanda and her teacher walk in the office and the bubble burst. Her teacher, clearly shaken, tries to explain...."She missed the bus, so we were waiting by the door for the bus to return." "Why the hell didn't you call us?" I never said it. I though it. I wanted to scream at her, but she was just so lost... I didn't want to talk to her, to them, I grabbed Xanda and I left.

Tomorrow I'll let them know that if something like this happens again, a call would be nice.

Okay, that was my experience. Vania's experience was a little different. She was the one at the bus stop. She was the one calling the school while I was on the road. I don't know the details, but I know she freaked out on the phone. She was going to call to apologize, I wouldn't let her. They didn't call us, we owed them nothing. We walked in the house and she broke down.

The thoughts and visions that go through your head at times like this...

Peekaboo...

Vania was trying to get a picture of Marcelo's foot. He got curious.

Aren't they cute...

I originally just posted the picture and wasn't going to comment. Still, I know some people hear that we allow our children to go out for Halloween and go, "What!!!! The pastor's kids???"

It's not that I'm not ignorant of the facts, it's not even that we haven't struggled with the issues of Halloween, but having said that, Halloween has become several things for us, that we're very comfortable (maybe not the best word to use in Christian circles, but oh well). Anyway, Halloween is a time for my kids to score some free candy while having fun. And it's a time for us as parents to meet and hang out with our neighbours.

For those who might struggle, as we have in the past with, "why would you do this?" Early in the life of the church there was an issue that was different, but similar. Should you or shouldn't you eat food that had been sacrificed to other idols or in idol worship. Some Christians felt that food is food. The fact that it had been used in some sacrifice to some idol made of wood was of no significance considering they served the real God. Others, like many today in regards to Halloween, were of the more cautious opinion. No way! What strikes me about that is that sometimes we give more credibility to our fears of what might happen, than we do to the God we serve.

Anyway, I know I'm barely scratching the surface for many, and others will see this as just another excuse to buy into the world, but I have a feeling some Christians who wouldn't eat meat offered to idols thought the same thing of those who did, the real issue is knowing where you're standing before God on how and why you're doing it. If you're uncomfortable with the whole thing. Stay home. In the very least hand out some candy and make friends or just be "friendly" as an opening to relationship. I met one of my best friends in Port last Halloween. Two nights ago, I walked around for 45 minutes talking to a neighbour I'd never talked to before while our kids got candy and our wives chatted.

My pet peave. And some of you will really think I'm nuts. I must confess I hate tracts. Especially poorly made & poorly thought out ones. As my kids looked through their candy we found two such tracts. And as I read them I was really disappointed, I know good intentions and all. But for some people this will be their first interaction with Christianity and one that establishes some pretty strong feelings towards it and even road blocks for those trying to actually talk to them. So, don't just throw some poorly thought out and designed pieces of literature in a bag - actually build some relationships with people, even if you have to do it on Halloween.

Ari & Wendy are married!

This past weekend I performed the wedding of Ari and Wendy.
Ari is my brother in law, who at one time I thought might be a
bachelor for life. Nothing wrong with that, just thought that's
the way it was going to work out. But then he met Wendy. Long
story short, Saturday they had a beautiful wedding outside in
cool, snowy Huntsville at his home. You can see some pictures
Here.

This was by far the most relaxed wedding I've ever done. I was
asked to wear ripped jeans, which I gladly obliged. I think the
last time I wore ripped jeans I was in highschool. Actually I still
have those ripped jeans. I hear they're coming back. It was also
the coldest of all the weddings I've done. I mean the temperature
outside. And it was the wedding with the longest kiss I've ever
witnessed. At first everybody clapped, I announced them as
husband and wife twice and eventually everyone told them to quit
it. Anyway, it was a fun wedding and they really enjoyed it which
was the really cool part.

For her 6th Birthday, she got snow!

Not only did she get snow that she could play in, she got a day off school, now how many kids have it that fun. Xanda was born on Friday the 13th and this is the first Friday the 13th since her birth. Both are forever stuck in our minds.

It's hard to believe that my daughter is six years old. It feels like just yesterday, when she was born in a record half hour.

She's our princess. She likes the pretty dresses and all that very girly stuff.

We're all very thankful for Xanda and for who she is in our family.

Happy Birthday filha!

Young Man, Your Intentions?

Yesterday Nina went on a date with Cole. They had a really good time out for a stroll on the canal, throwing rocks into the Canal & then some pizza. Actually, it might have been pizza first.

Anyway, Cole is one of Nina's best friends in Port. He's pretty cool!

Holiday Video

I just finished the DVD for our holidays at Long Point. The DVD is 28 minutes long, but to put that online wouldn't be practical. And you wouldn't want to watch it anyway. Ok, some of you would.

Instead, I made a very short movie, about two minutes long, that captures a few fun moments.

You'll be able to tell we're beach people.

Just go here, or click on the link on the side bar.

old treasure

When I first began video editing, I put together the following movie of Lucas and Xanda. Lucas would have been 2 and Xanda would have been 1. You forget things like this, it was neat to find it on an old VHS tape. Quality is not great because, it wasn't great to begin with, but then I had to record it off my ibook with my video camera to be able to work with it in iMovie. I didn't change it, Just shortened it as there were other videos all on the same tape.

Kids in 2001

We're Back!

All of us made it back safe and sound! All kids accounted for. No more incidents of kids sneaking out.

All in all we had a great vacation. It was a little weird as we packed everything up after the first weekend, came back to Port last weekend for Canal Days, went back and moved to a new site, set everything up again (a much nicer site by the way), packed everything up again to come home, and set everything up when we got home, so we could get the stuff out of the camper. Gets me tired just thinking about it.

The thing about camping is that it can be pretty tiring. With us, just packing for the beach each day can wear you out. Although our site, for the second week, was directly across from the beach. We crossed the road and we entered the beach, that was nice. Although there were no waves the second week, severely dampening the kids (especially Lucas') excitement about going to the beach.

Weather couldn't have been better (no rain to speak of). Company was great (Vun and I usually camp with both our sets of parents - normally that would spell murder in most cases - we have it good!).

We had a few interesting sailing (or lack thereof) adventures.

Although we were surrounded by poison ivy everywhere, only Vania got it. Which is kind of funny since she was the one most "aware" of it the whole time. Anyway, being very good, Vania didn't scratch and was all better just a week later.

Saw lots of snakes and all other sorts of bugs. The flies were insane the second week! But eh, everybody's got a right to camp.

Got lots of pictures, lots of video which will eventually show up on the site.

Now that we're back, we're jumping right in to what promises to be a very busy August and September.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

We've been camping at Long point for the past week.
We're back in town for the weekend, childless, to check out Canal Days - I won't explain just yet.
We'll be headed back to Long Point on Sunday and be gone for another week.
Camping's been awesome so far. The theme for these holidays would be HOT!
Beach has been great, lots of waves which makes dad and the kids really happy.
We found that with a double air mattress and some major waves you can do some really cool surfing. You can also get majorly sunburned in the process.

Will re-connect in another week.

Marcelo Video

Here's a little video montage I've been working on. For those of you who don't know Marcelo, this gives you a really quick, but good idea of who he is and what he's like.

Family Reunion Pictures

You can take a look, if you're interested, and only a few will be, at our family reunion pictures from a few weeks ago.

Go Here!

Marcelo's dedication

Just realized that I never mentioned it.

Marcelo was dedicated last Sunday morning.

Didn't really get any good pictures. But it was good to be able to do the dedication while the whole family was down.

Oh yes, Marcelo slept through the whole experience.

Just in case you're wondering, for Christians a baby dedication is a time when the parents of a child and the faith community, together, commit to do their best to raise, and help raise, this child in the ways of Jesus.

Family Reunion

You probably noticed, or not, that I haven't posted over the last week.

Since last Thursday afternoon, our house has been taken over by family. This year the family reunion happened at our place. We had people down, sorry "up" from New York City. Some came from Detroit, and still others from; Ajax, Pickering, Mississauga, Huntsville and Oshawa.

In total, we had seventeen adults, seven children and two dogs. All but one person slept over. Most have left, but our cousins from New York are still over. They're making a week of it, which is good because we only see them every few years. Right now we're playing Risk, while Fabio works feverishly away on a software course he's taking.

It's been a fun week, but not much time for blogging.

Well done Lucas and Xanda!!!

Today was the last day of school for Lucas and Xanda.

That also means report card day.

Once again, Lucas not only brought home a great report card, but an improved report card.
Seven A's and five B's. His greatest accomplishment, last report card he had a C+. He's turned that C+ to an A.

I know, this is only grade one. But that's quite an accomplishments.

Xanda, being in Kindergarten, doesn't get a "graded" report card. But a report with the teacher's comments. It was stellar.

You might remember that last year Xanda was in trouble at school quite often. On the first day of school I made her a deal. If she never (that's right, never) got in trouble at school this year, at all. Then she could have whatever she wanted at the end of the year. Her concept of "whatever" is somewhat small as she asked for a swan lake barbie. Tomorrow she gets it.

So, to both Lucas and Xanda - WELL DONE!!!

Major uploading of photos...

I decided to take all my pictures on my computer and upload them to "the gallery" Click the Photo link if you want to see lots of photos. I've also organized the photo site better.

I'm also looking for pictures of my/our friends. You know who you are, so send me a picture of yourself, family whatever so I can add it to "my friends". You can send me your photo at edefreitas@ourhangout.net.

Will upload more as I get my photos from my old laptop.

Single Dad Life

Every year about this time Vania leaves me. It's something we've tried to work out, but inevitably, every year, Thursday morning, she gets in the van and leaves me. Don't worry, I know she'll be back Sunday and I'll forgive and everything will be back to normal, until next year...and we'll go through this all over again.

Okay, okay, Vun's gone away to a pastor's wives conference for the weekend. For the next few days I'm a single dad. Cooking, cleaning, and doing the other things that, typically, single moms do.

Okay, that's not really true either. You see, sometime tomorrow evening my parents will be showing up. I don't ask for this, I think my mom's just scared of the kids being alone with me for that long so she shows up on Friday night, just because she wanted to spend the weekend with us. I'm pretty sure Vun asked her to come. That's okay, we always have fun together...and the kids love Lala, so it's a win win situation.

Our first struggle. Bedtime. No, it wasn't hard to get them to bed, but as they were getting ready, Nina realized I'd be sleeping alone tonight...and quickly said, daddy, can I sleep with you tonight? I knew I was in trouble when I looked at Xanda's and Luca's faces. So, I said there's three nights and three kids so this all works out. But when I told Lucas he'd have to wait until Saturday night, the tears just flowed out involuntarily. Lucas is very emotional. And even if he tries not to the tears just comes. So, while the girls went to bed the two of us watched Survivor. He was disappointed as Shane was voted out, and he liked Shane. Anyway, after some ice cream...everything was ok and now he's eagerly awaiting Saturday night. Although tomorrow he'll no doubt end up in Lala's bed, so it's all good!

Such is the life of a single dad around here. I'm not expecting Vun to call, as she has so much fun, she usually forgets to call. But that's ok, she's allowed.

I'm gonna watch some old episodes of Alias now.

No more sleeping on the ground!!!

Our Family is leaving behind our tenting days and entering the world of "the trailer."

Due to a very special gift from some very, very, very special people in our lives...we have been given a pop-up trailer. I know, could we be more spoiled? It pops out on three sides and is really cool.

The best part about it...no more getting drenched while building trenches around the tent every time it starts to pour. No more making sure that nothing touches the sides of the the tent.

No more losing kids in the middle of the night...we'll keep them locked inside.

Like I said, spoiled rotten!

Report Card Day

It's the end of the second term and both Lucas and Xanda brought home their report cards.

Xanda's doing really well in Senior Kindergarten. She's come a long way from her being sent to the office to see the principal in Junior Kindergarten. I wish I had a story like that to tell. Great ice breaker in all kinds of situations. She did really well this term. At this level they don't get marks, only comments by the teacher. All very positive.

Lucas is in the world of marks though.
Last report card he had a great report card. With that in mind. He brought up five of his grades a whole grade and went down a partial grade in two classes Phys Ed & Drama. I know, where does he come from?

Highlights, he got the 2nd only ever A that the teacher has ever given out for Reading. Six A's, Seven B's and one C in measurement (What the heck is measurement?)

Anyway, we don't pay a lot of attention to the marks, but he's so excited about it, I had to mention it. That and he's started to read my Blog so, I had to mention it.

Hello everyone!

I'm Marcelo. And I'm pleased to meet you!

There's more pictures up of my family getting all googly eyed over me at our gallery.

It's a boy

His name is, ok we don't have a name. Anyway, he was born at 20 to six. And dad took part in everything because there was no one else around and he just had to. How he didn't pass out is a mystery.

I don't have all the details as of yet. Will update. He's a boy, that's all I can tell you.

Mom is doing well, and dad might pass out later.

Vania was in active labour for a long time, not as long as some, longer than others.

Ok...more later...

Not too long now...

Okay, we've been at this for about five hours. It seems that this baby wants to do things "nice and slow" - Vun wants it out because she wants to go to sleep.

Anyway...we wait, she's 5cm apart with contractions every 5 minutes...should be there sometime this afternoon.

Will let you know.

No Longer!!!

We wait no longer my friends.

Two Sunday babies. Two Friday babies.

It's 3:58 A.M. and we're headed out to the hospital.

What kind of a dad stops to blog on his way out? A tired one. Hope the Adrenalin kicks in quickly.

News soon.

Still waiting...

A friend just suggested Vun try doing some cartwheels, I'd like to see that :) - she can't do a cartwheel when she's not pregnant.

Today is the official day, although time is quickly running out on today, so I don't think so.

Sleeping alone

Senzenina had naptime on our bed this afternoon. Senzenina slept on my side of the bed. Senzenina wasn't wearing a diaper. Ed is in the baby room on a futon, on the floor.

Just Waiting...

Well she missed it! Vun wanted a November baby. However, it's now December and this kid seems like he's pretty happy and comfortable right where he is.

Anyway, Vun's been ready for a couple of weeks, and this gaining weight thing is really getting to her, although she looks great - but she'd tell you I was just saying that.

As Sunday begins to loom very close, I'm starting to get worried. Two of our four kids were born on a Sunday. I've already started making plans to have a back up for this Sunday morning...

I'll keep you updated!

Vania's hooked

With only three weeks left until baby due date...you'd think Vania would be heavy into nesting. But no, the baby room is still serving as the room where all the rest of the stuff goes. Everyone has one of those rooms.

But if not that, with a new house you'd think that Vania would be busy trying to make it her own home...but no, we still have boxes all over the place and making it our own home, seems like it will take a while.

No, Vania is hooked. On what you ask? Neopets!

You're supposed to laugh now. Unless you don't know what neopets are. Of course there's no reason why you should if you don't have any kids. Drop by the site Neopets and you'll understand.

Actually Lucas is the one hooked on Neopets (I use the word hooked loosely) Anyway, on the site in order to take care of your Neopet and get him food as well as other things you play games, such as the ones that Vania can't seem to pull herself away from. She likes the puzzle games.

Anyway, we're having fun with it, and for once I like being the one not doing the bugging...

my wife's hooked on children's video games...oh yes, it's for a worthy cause...to get Luca's neopets more healthy...sure it is...

What do you say?

Lucas has been a little bit of a handful. Acting out, talking back etc. There's one little boy that every other parent dreads that Lucas has decided to be friends with and the two of them are always getting in trouble.

This past weekend Lucas was invited to a birthday party, while there the birthday boy and Lucas got into a tiff, where the two of them decided they were no longer each other's friends...the status of their friendship changed, Lucas thought the right thing to do was to take back the present he had taken to the party.

Last night Lucas went to kidz klub...our kids program. He's invited several of his friends to it. And they've come. Only one problem...he's really misbehaving. Even right before me, it seems to make no difference. Anyway, last night we got home and we had a talk.

While we were talking Lucas found it necessary to interrupt me and talk back to me...at which point I think, for the first time ever, I raised my voice significantly as I talked to him, it was hard to see him in tears as I knew his heart was being broken. He went to bed after that.

But I'm not just trying to fill you in on this stuff...at Kidz Klub the kids made prayer boxes. They painted these boxes and then wrote out prayers for whomever they wanted. Whe Lucas went to bed I looked in his prayer box. What I saw nearly brought me to tears. There on his first prayer sheet was the name of the boy from the party as well as the name of the boy that he's been getting in trouble with. I keep saying God keeps teaching me through my son...well, last line he spoke to me again.

Finally, to make it a great evening when Vun went to tuck him into bed...he asked her if I could tuck him in instead. Which I did and which made him feel like everythign was ok in his world.

I love my son!

A week of relationships

Looking back, this was one of the hardest weeks, since arriving, in terms of preparation for Sunday. It wasn't until Saturday night at about 11:30 that I felt at peace with where God was leading me. It wasn't for lack of preparation, but because my week was full of relationships that took several hours at a time. Many impromptu ones, several planned. One of the most incredible ones happed with someone who's been around here for a while, God has brought us together in a neat way.

He used to live out west, have a carreer, nice car and all the things that this life can offer. He used to have it all until he started doing heroine and all the other stuff that goes along with it. He could handle it all in the beginning, it was just part of life, then things wen't south and life spiralled right down to the place you can't go any further down from. He moved to Port Colborne to get cleaned up. He told me that for years he would walk by the church on sunday mornings knowing he needed to go in, but never having the guts...until one of the previous pastors invited him in. Since then life's been a series of ups and downs, he's gotten mostly cleaned up, but has done a little time in jail. When I heard all that, before meeting him, I had a picture in my mind of someone that was nothing like the real man I met several weeks ago.

The real man is a nice guy. He is a guy who wants to follow Jesus, and finds that there's a lot of other things that pull him away. But he's also as open and honest as they come and willing to ask for help. Yesterday we met by accident, but spent several hours talking to one another about why life was the way it was and what it could be in Jesus Christ. There was such tenderness in his heart, such a desire to really know the peace, to be what Jesus wanted him to be. He said he would be in church today, I told him if he didn't I'd go and wake him up. He came. He came and his frustration...he'd invited someone else to come and they hadn't come. Although I believe they showed up during the service.

This was just one of the stories this week. I believe God for great things in this young man's life. I can't wait! Today was the perfect cap to a wonderful week of relationships.

I was talking to someone recently about the depth of love I see and feel from our people. And they said this to me, we might not have a lot to offer, but, "you'll never be loved and welcomed as you will be in this place." I have been in a lot of places, and I've been loved deeply by many people I consider wonderful brothers, sisters and friends yet to become brothers and sisters, but there's a family feeling that exists here, that I haven't found anywhere else. Most of all I feel an incredible responsibility and a deep privilege that I don't know how to put into words.

Photos

some more photos up of Xanda's and my trip to the pumpkin patch, Dennis dropping by and some birthday cake photos.

Xanda turned five

My middle girls just turned five this past week. And we were having fun together.

More pictures

Some people say we're spoiled, others call us blessed...either way...God is good!

Take a look at gallery and you'll see new pictures of a "new to us" playground that's finally been able to get our kids into the backyard since we moved in.

Also, there's a picture of mom reading to Lucas and Xanda (Shunda). This is a new day...chapter books with no pictures...Xanda's still not that sure about it, Lucas can't get enough.

Show and Tell

Every Friday is show and tell for Lucas and Alexandra. I personally feel that's a little overkill, especially since they're not allowed to bring any of their toys. Lucas thinks it's pretty overkill too. Even Alexandra feels that there's not much to take to show and tell. Still last night as she was being put to bed she had an interesting idea, she said...

I know, I'll just bring myself and tell them how God made me."

Non-stop week

As you can tell by the blank page that's starred back at you any time you dropped by recently, I've been a little busy. A week today we moved to Port Colborne, ON. Well, it's been a week of pulling up carpets, cleaning wood floors trying to get the stench of cigarrette smoke from every nook and crany in the place (I really got to give those things up :) Needless to say there has been no time for blogging. That and the fact that I don't have highspeed until Friday has made it tough to even want to go online. Dial up is really, really slow...for those of you still on dial-up I apologize, it's just that I've been spoiled. So, I'll have highspeed at home and dial-up at the church. Anyway...just wanted to drop in. I'm enjoying myself, but thoroughly tired. We've gone non-stop for a week now, and there's still a bunch of stuff to do, nothing major, but stuff that just takes time. More later, didn't want you all to think that we'd fallen off the side of the earth.

Later

Our holidays

Lots of pictures from our holidays up (don't go to our galleries...I'm going to join the bandwaggon and use flickr like everyone else, much easier.)

Camping

I'll be camping at Sandbanks Provincial Park for the next few weeks. Both Vun and I used to camp there as teenagers and haven't been back for a long time. Great sandy beaches and an all around nice park. Looking forward to getting away without interruptions. Be back in a couple of weeks.

Still learning

Sometimes you just have to hold back...

I rented a Ford Focus today because I have to go out of town for part of the day and Vun needs the Van.

She also had an ultrasound today and so I brought the kids, who are now playing in our preschool room, with me...yes, I'm missing the ultrasound...that part sucks.

Anyway...back to the post...on the way from the rental place here, the kids figured out that back windows on certain cars roll down. And on the highway...rolled down window means highspeed winds, and highspeed winds on the hands kind of feels good. So, right from the moment we got on the highway, till the moment I got here, a good 20 minutes, they went nuts...I mean ecstatic. So much so that my initial reaction was to tell them to roll up the windows and be quiet.

But that would have made me happy and comfortable, and I would have ruined a perfectly good first experience for them, for no good reason, except that I wasn't appreciating all the noise. Once I figured that out, I remembered what that experience was like as a kid...it was a lot of fun...kind of like going back to Neverland and remembering.

So, yup, I'm still learning. Glad I didn't ruin their morning.

Next most scary moment of my life

It's beginning to seem like the scariest moments of my life involve my children. I'm sure my mom would say the same thing, come to think of it.

About a year ago, or less, I posted that I had to perform a heimlick (how do you spell that anyway) maneuver on Senzenina who had begun to choke and very quickly went blue and motionless in my arms. I called that post the scariest moment of my life. It was. Until last Thursday morning at 4am.

I'd mentioned that our holidays were great, and they were, but for about 30 minutes, it was hell. I don't use that word lightly.

Vania usually wakes up in the night and checks on the kids. In our case in means turning on the flashlight and shinning it on the other side of our tent.

Last Thursday morning at 4am, as she did just that she noticed something odd. Lucas wasn't in his sleeping bag. She called for him, no answer. She got up and went to check the sleeping bag. And suddenly things went to a whole other level. She said, not so calmly, "Ed, wake up, Lucas is gone."

Now it wouldn't be completely strange for Lucas to wake up in the middle of the night and get up. He's done that before. This was different. His clothes were still on the floor, which meant if he went somewhere, he was in his underwear.

Because we were camping on a site beside my in-laws I tore out of our tent and ran for their trailer. All I could think of was that for some reason he had gotten up and gone over to their trailer. My hope sunk as I tried their door and found it locked. I flashed my flashlight inside. No Lucas. I woke them up and told them Lucas was missing.

Now I had thoughts of Lucas heading to their campsite in the middle of the night and somehow going the wrong way and getting lost. That wouldn't have surprised me, he got lost during the day.

My father-in-law ran into our tent and confirmed there was no Lucas as I got in my van and headed to check the washrooms and get the warden. By now there was a lot of noise in our site. Vania was calling Lucas outloud (ticking off some neighbours I'm sure) and the girls were crying, somehow picking up something was wrong with their brother. I can still hear Senzenina whimpering and repeating Lucas' name.

I checked the washrooms and ran into some ladies that volunteered their help. Got back into my van and headed to the park entrance. There I told the warden our son was missing and answered what felt like a million questions. He immediately radioded all the other wardens (I didn't know there was a bunch of them). Anyway, no one picked up...turned out they were all leaving for the night, we ended up flashing them at the exit to the campsite as they were leaving to go home. Now we had a commotion.

I headed back to the campsite saw my father-in-law checking other sites as I drove by. When I got to our site my mother-in-law said I found him, he's here!

Lucas had gotten out of his sleeping bag, and wedged himself in the girls sleeping bag at their feet, between their four legs, facing the opposite direction. With all the commotion and the girls moving, she finally found him.

Vania cried. I went to report the false alarm. Which everyone was more than glad was false, even at this hour in the morning.

I can't really tell you all the thoughts that went through my head. I do know that there's something in you that doesn't allow you to believe the worst at that moment. Even though we've heard this story too many times. You just somehow begin to get through it believing he's just going to show up at any moment. Lost, confused, crying.

For the next few hours we felt like we'd lost and gained our lives back in a single moment. When all was settled down, I took shoelaces and tied all the zippers in and out of the tent. I have a feeling I'll be doing that from now on.

On a lighter note, after the emotions cooled off, I told Vania I'd never let her get angry at me for not finding something in the pantry even though it was right in front of me (I do that a lot). We laughed.

The thought of losing a child, definitely the scariest moments of my life.

Oh yes, Lucas never woke up until later that morning.

We're back

We just returned from two weeks of camping at Sibald Point (an hour north of Toronto) on lake Simcoe.

We had great weather, great and great fun. It started rainning as we finished packing our last thing into the van. It was a good way to end the holiday. Normally, it's the other way around.

There's more to tell from this vacation, for now I just wanted to get rid of all the empty space on the page.

More soon!

Worn out

Spent the a large part of the day at the dentist today. First time I went in seven years. Interestingly enough, I'd been doing a pretty good job taking care of my teeth. Even though Vun was afraid they were all going to fall off since I hadn't gone to the dentist religiously like she does. I'm not sure I do anything religiously.

Actually, that wasn't the wearing out part. Vania decided to book the whole family for a dentist visit. Yes, you heard me right, all five of us. I must say although I wouldn't want to do that again, our kids behaved incredibly well, and since it was all of their first times, they were great under the gun (so to speak).

So, yup, got a new tooth brush and package of floss and an order to do it all three times a day. I find going to the dentist like New Year's, you make all these resolutions knowing perfectly well you'll never keep them. Brush your teeth three times a day. Two maybe. But floss three times a day...who am I kidding?

Asta

Asta is my mother-in-law. We're good friends. Today she's in the hospital doing a proceedure to check for blockages around her heart. She had a quadruple bypass surgery done years ago.

Please, if you remember, pray for Asta...and especially for Vania (my wife, and the rest of the family too).

Missing

After going through our wedding album, Alexandra commented that it's missing a picture of our family.

This brought back some memories, as when I was a child and looked through my parents wedding album, I told them they were not invited to my wedding, since they obviously hadn't invited me to theirs.

My new son...

Before

After

And there you have it...the last picture...the neighbourhood girls wanted in.

SHOCK

I've just had the shock of my life! Vania took Lucas and Senzenina to the doctor and as she walked back in the house she said, "get ready for a new son". At that a boy I'd never met before walked in the house, when he spoke, it sounded like Lucas. No, it was Lucas, without the hair. That's right, without telling me, she got his hair cut, and I cried. I did, I never thought I would, but I cried. He looks so different, several years older, as a matter of fact.

I will recuperate, and I'm trying to be positive around him. But every time I look at him I see another boy, for now. Wow, I didn't know it would hit me like this. But he's wanted to try it for a while, and now it's done. Six years of growing his hair out the window. That's ok, he'll be a teenager in another 7 years, and then I'm sure the hair will come back.

I called Alexandra in and told her she had a new brother and guess what, she didn't recognize him either. Yes, it's that different. I'll post a picture a soon, someone's got my digital right now.

I cried, I just couldn't believe it.

LIttle rabbit fufu

This is the song all my kids want to hear at bedtime these day...and I always crack up when Alexandra sings it actions and all...

"Little rabbit fufu, hopping through the forest, picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head."

This goes on several times until the "good fairy" turns the rabbit to goop.

Most of all I just like the way she says...bopping them on the head, as if it was one word.

It's kind of a weird precursor to bedtime prayer, but eh, it's just where we find ourselves these days.

Alexandra's Future

"Daddy, I want to be a nurse when I grow up! I don't wnat to be a princess anymore." "Why don't you want to be a princess when you grow up?" "Because I'm already a princess!"

Mom...

Actually, this post was meant to come before the last one...but anyway...

My mom really is the most amazing mom. I know everyone says that...but it's true. And this is not a "my dad is bigger than your dad thing".

My mom was kicked out of her home and sent to live with family that treated her as a servant for ten years, she had almost been raped before she was kicked out. She was seven. When she was seventeen she saw an opportunity to leave that life and so, she married my dad. On the first night of their marriage, he told that that unless she gave him a boy in one year, he would leave her. I was born a year later. My mom was the primary care giver in our lives all her life. By the time she was thirty, she had taken my sister and I half way across Angola to escape a war. She had hid us among weapons (machine guns & granades) in basements. She had locked us into train carts by wrapping wool around the door thousands of times...although the train was served several times, we were never found.

After escaping and arriving in Portugal she continued to raise us by herself. My dad worked away from home and only visited one weekend a month (sometimes). Otherwise he had a hole other life away from us. A life full of secrets that always got back to my mom. When he came home there was lots of screaming and yelling.

My mom was toughened by her life and raised us the only way she knew how. I was beaten by every object that you can imagine. Including having my crotched rubbed with poison ivy because I wouldn't stop wetting my bed. I must have been sixteen the last time I was beat with a belt - belt buckle side. I don't remember why.

So, why did I allow it...I was bigger than her, I could have called the police...I knew those things, thought about them more than once...but I knew something...my mother loved us. She made sacrifice upon sacrifice so that we (my sister and I) would have the opportunities she didn't.

But what makes my mom an amazing woman and mother is something she did when I was twenty-four. After having left home years before, while visiting, mom asked me to go for a drive with her. On that drive my mom cried. On that drive my mom also said "I'm sorry." She told me she was sorry for not having been taught any better. For not having known any better. She was sorry for the beatings and everything else. She asked for my forgiveness and she told me, that now that she knew better life would be different.

My mom has been true to her word. Her love, which I knew was there all along, has continued to shine through. She helps us whenever she can and is only a call away. She watches my kids so much that people criticize her for it...she doesn't only do it as a grandma and mother...she tells me that it's her ministry to a pastor and his wife.

I have no fears leaving my children with my mom. She loves them like her own and besides us, there's no one they love more.

My mom is a pretty incredible woman. She's still together with my dad. She doesn't trust him much. He's given her enough reason to...but in her heart she still hopes that he'll discover what the rest of us have found in Jesus.

I love my mom, besides vun, she really has become my best friend.

3:00am

I was supposed to be up at three a.m. to drive my in-laws to the airport this morning. Vania has decided that since she gets to sleep much faster she'll try to do it and I'll stay home with the kids. However, Vun's not a morning person and the thought of her waking up at three a.m. after a few hours of sleep and driving is...well, not such a hot idea.

So, when the time comes we'll see what happens, there's a really good chance that I'll end up at the airport in a few hours.

The good thing, Vun's parents have got the travelling bug. At the beginning of the winter we all went to Cuba, tonight they're headed to Mexico. They're only going for a week, but it should be pretty cool. They're planning to go to Venezuela a few months after they come back. To note, however, in their seventies, this will be the first trip they take since their honeymoon, many, many years ago where they will be alone, together for a whole week. Yes, they've spend lots of time alone together but in this sense where you really have to be together... Isn't that funny? I look forward to hearing all the stories. I hope they really enjoy it.

Update: It's 3:00am, we're both going :)

That's ok Dad!

Last Friday, as I was listening to my son bug his sister over and over and over and over, I finally lost it. That's right, I lost it. Rather than addressing it with calmness I finally broke. At which point I turned to Lucas and said, "Lucas, shut up already!"

Although not angry, the tone of the voice was strong enough to cause stillness to settle throughout the house...for a moment I thought, eh, that wasn't too bad. And so, I just let it go. Truth is, I didn't think too much about it at the time.

However at dinner time, several hours after the event, even after some time where he and I had played some, he turned to me and said, "Dad, why do you say bad words sometimes?" I was surprised! "Bad words, when did I say a bad word? To which he calmly replied, "You know, you told me to shut up."

I'd been caught! My first response was to try and justify myself. So I started off by saying, "Well, Lucas, sometimes you really say things that are mean to your sisters" But, just then, I realized what I was doing and I stopped midsentence. Instead, still looking at him, I said, "You know what Lucas, you're right! Sometimes dad makes a mistake and says something that he shouldn't have said, I'm sorry for telling you to shut up like that, I'll try not to do it again. To which he responded, "That's ok dad!"

After that the conversation was about how he needed to respect his sisters. But all in all, a humbling time for dad.

Breakfast with my wife

Recently Vun has started working on Tuesdays. That means that we drive into work together. A couple of weeks ago we were alone, without the kids, after church and decided to stop in at Timothy's for a coffee. It was then that we decided to make that our morning date time when driving in for work on Tuesday mornings.

We haven't made it back to Timothys, but every Tuesday morning since we've gone out together. We spend about an hour just talking about life and stuff.

As Vun said yesterday...this Tuesday morning thing was a good idea.

Here's to time with my wife!

Nine Years Ago

oops...it's half an hour past the 16th of December...that's the wedding anniversary date!

It was nine years ago on a wintery Saturday that my, about to be bride, arrived at the door of the church we were to be married in, in a red convertible. She, as only Vania would do, had driven to the church with the top down, causing both her brother (driver) and dad (no coat) to freeze. (Actually, the roof wouldn't close because of the dress, at least that's her story).

Well, in typical Vun form, she was late. Worst than that, although we had agreed to memorize our vows, which I had painstakingly stayed up to do into the wee morning hours, on the way to the altar she whispered that she hadn't memorized hers. (I've been seeing a counselor to deal with this...)

We were married, we walked out of the sanctuary, and realizing that we had forgotten the lighting of the unity candle, in typical Ed & Vun form, we ran back into the sanctuary, jumped up on the stage, announced our mistake, lit the candle and have never looked back since.

Nine years and that was just the beginning.

Here's to the next nine years!

All Cuba pictures up

UPDATE: IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICTURES (ALL 233 OF THEM) THEY'RE UP NOW!

This is just a few of many, many pictures we took on our trip to cuba...if you're interested.

Check out the gallery section.

What we have!

Considering our recent loss...I'm reminded about what we've been blessed with...

God has been good to us!

What to feel?

About 7 and a half months from now there should be a new little DeFreitas boy or girl hanging out at the DeFreitas' household. Probably doing little more than sleepling, crying, eating and you know...

No, this is not an announcement of the fourth DeFreitas child. Last night we (Vun and I) spent the better part of the night at the emergency ward of our local hospital. We lost our would be fourth child.

The body is a wonder...turns out that the baby hadn't developed past one or two weeks, however, Vania continued to be pregnant for 12 weeks or so. Until this past week when her body determined since there was no life, it should end the process. (sorry for how that sounded, it just came out that way!)

It's not our first miscarriage. We also lost the first child. Something we didn't realize until a year later, when Vania became pregant with Lucas. Why do we have three and not five children? I don't know. But God is good even when I don't have all the answers.

I found myself in a different scenario last night...beside a hospital bed lending support to Vania. Usually it's the other way around, I'm sick with something and she's the one by my side. As one who doesn't do well in hospitals, there was an extra measure of strength that allowed me to give her support through a tough time, seeing much that at any other time would have me passed out. Again, God is good!

I don't know how to feel? I don't feel anything really. If anything slightly guilty that I've never wanted any more children. But just slightly...it makes me feel like I should feel more...but I don't know what I'm supposed to feel...so I'm just lending support best I know how.

There's much I'd like to say about our trip which is so fresh in our minds, but somehow that's lost its place for the moment.

Vun is doing really well. She's always felt there was something wrong with this pregnancy. She's always had a sixth sense about all the pregnancies, it was no different with this one.

I'll stop blabbing now...I don't really have anything to say anyway.

and so it ends

Here I sit on my last night...wasting away the last precious moments i`ve paid for on my internet access.

the two weeks have been wonderful, we did have few major set backs but none of which I`m able to talk about at this time.

the vacation itself was wonderful, lots of time with the kids which loved the ocean...tried to get a few trips in there, some snorkling, once I saw thousands of fish swimmimg all around (not exaggerating for a second) tried again today, meaning that I paid to go and notin`....so, I came back to the resort, where it`s free (and where they say there`s nothing to see...and guess what...hundreds of fish swimming all around, I even saw an octopus, I did, I did, I did! It was awesome.

Anyway, tomorrow we have to get up at 6:30am to begin getting ready to leave for the airport at 8. We`re all packed so it shouldn`t be a big deal

all that`s left is to pick up a cuban go to my varanda, smoke it and go to bed. Now would I do that....if they were flavoured maybe. I`ll wrap up and go to bed now.

talk to you soon in blogland...God willing!

Things are good!

When Senzenina was born we were told that she had a dilated kidney. Something that might have led to infections etc...but that more than likely over the years she'd grow out of.

Well, today we spent most of the day at Sick Children's doing tests, waiting and sleeping (oops, dozed off). But it was all worth it in the end.

We were informed by the doctor that she seems to have grown out of it. She's almost two.

We still have to follow up in a year, just to make sure...but it seems to be something in the past.

Cuba

In five days we leave for Cuba, early in the morning.

My children have never been to any ocean. The biggest body of water they know is Lake Ontario (which is pretty huge in their eyes). They've never tasted the ocean. I love the taste of salt water. They've never been on a plane. They've also never been to a land where they couldn't understand everyone. They're in for many surprises over the next few weeks. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces.

When I was a little boy, about Lucas' age...we had a house on the beach. It really was on the beach. What grass is to my house today, sand was to my house then. I could walk out onto the sand and run and would quickly run into the ocean. That house doesn't exist anymore and I've never seen another house on the beach like that. (oops, sorry, got caught up in memories.)

Anyway, I love the ocean, it's an incredible part of God's creation. I find it incredible, the animal life within it, the waves...it's hard for me to observe the ocean and not to see the hand of God.

One of the other things I'm looking forwar