Our Hangout

why I love my mac follow up...

A couple of things...

On the positive, my mac got a well needed cleaning. It looks brand new. Ok, with the exception of a minor crack from one of the previous falls. But every keyboard key was removed and cleaned individually. Both the covers (top and bottom were removed) allowing me not only to clean, but to fix a pretty bad warp from another fall. You certainly wouldn't be able to tell by looking at it, or working on it, that it's had the journey it's been through. There's a life lesson in there somewhere, but I don't have the time to think it through right now.

Vania's thought as we went to bed last night...Apple should make cars. I agree!

Why I love my mac

Okay, there are many, many reasons why I love my mac. But besides all I can do with it, it's definitely it's perseverance that I like the most.

This computer has fallen off two tables. One office desk. A whole set of stairs (15 steps). And today my mac and I, yes, the one I'm typing on right now, got really close and had a cup of coffee together. That's right, one whole, extra large cup of coffee, right on top of my mac, all over the keyboard. Freak out, turn computer off, turn it upside down, drain the cup of coffee, 'cause after all, it was my coffee and although I love my mac, it never asked for my coffee. A little drying out and a few hours later, we're back to normal, okay one workday completely wasted.

And that's yet another reason why I love my mac.

Having said all that, I'm really glad God's got my back. Even though some would say, I'm pushing it now. No more drinking coffee around the mac. Ok, I probably won't stick to that, but eh, it's the thought that counts.

I looked at Vania and said, I've been trying to kill this thing, but it refuses to die.

I think I should really back this thing up. It's been a little while.

Birthday - Anniversary...

Every year, Vania and I have tried to go away for our Anniversary/my Birthday (two happen a day apart on the 16 &17th of December.) It's been a few years since we've been able to get away just the two of us. We've gotten away the last two years, but it's always in relationship with a pastor's and wive's conference. Always a great time, but not exactly focus on our marriage time. This year we decided we were going to get back to spending the time alone. So, for the third time in our 12 years of marriage we celebrated in Niagara Falls. Earlier in the year someone, anonymously, gave us a gift certificate for a two night stay at the Sheridan Fallsview. You can see the view out of our room above.

We hung out in the room, played scrabble into the wee hours of the morning, ate out, took in some of the attractions, including going down and behind the Falls, something that I never realized you could do. Will have to take the kids in the summer. Very cool.

We had a great time together, and the weather, yesterday, was great for walking around and taking pictures. Some of which you'll see up in the next couple of days.

Moving

As I mentioned several months back. Both our sets of parents are moving down to Port Colborne. Vun's parents bought earlier in the Fall and they move in later this week. Tomorrow (Thursday) to be exact. My parents condo took longer to sell (about a month.) But it sold while we were away in Cuba. Last week they asked us to begin looking at homes again, and the very first home we were taken through was a keeper and as of tomorrow they will official own it. And will be moving in two weeks time. All this to say lots of stuff going on around here.

I've also got a whole bunch of thoughts on the "church" front and ministry and discipleship that I've been wanting to post on, but business has kept me from getting into that, but soon. Anyway, I'm probably going to be skiddish in my posting for this week.

Getting back on track - "In Flight"

Ok, I know I haven't posted photos. No I haven't given up. On the contrary.

But coming back and getting back on track has proven, at best, challenging. At worst, pretty crazy. But all good, no complaints. I think I'm sort of getting there, although I feel a bit behind the eight ball.

Lots of stuff going on. There's a bug going around the family that Marcelo caught four days before we left Cuba. It's a tough little bug that refuses to leave. Lots of runny noses and coughs.

I've started to upload the rest of the Cuba photos. They will probably make up most of my daily shots for the next couple of weeks, as taking pictures is not in the agenda until I'm on track a little bit better (couple of weeks, hopefully.)

I've been dumped on!

Ok, you might not believe this, I didn't at first.

There are lots of bees in Port. Don't know why, there just are. If we leave either of our doors open we're sure to have two to three bees in the house in a matter of 15 minutes or so. If not sooner. Anyway, that's not the point.

Yesterday I was sitting in the living room watching a bee fly around, not having been bothered enough to go get the fly swatter yet, and then I noticed it. The bee crapped (sorry for the foul language) in midflight. And I thought to myself, self, did that bee just crap in your living room? But at the risk of sounding foolish and unbelievable to my wife, I kept the thoughts my self had to, well, myself.

No sooner, had I given those thought back to my self, when, right there, right above me, as I'm still watching this bee, it lets another one go. And as if it wasn't enough that it had the audacity to do this twice, in my living room, the second time it landed, you guessed it on me. Right on the back of my hand. Much smaller than a seagull, no less disgusting. Okay, a little less disgusting. I think it was actually, a welcomed scientific discovery. This bee was having a bout of diarrhea in my living room, more importantly on me. And no, I didn't think to get any pictures, although it was visible on my hand.

And so how was your day?

And time goes by...

Wow, I was looking at the last entry date and couldn't believe how long it had been since my last post. Is this the end of blogging for ed? I don't know yet. 5 years was a good run. But I don't think so...

Anyway, in terms of updates...

The homeschooling thing went well, but we've decided to keep our children in school for now.

The summer's been incredibly busy.

We just returned from holidays at Sandbanks provincial park. Had a great time away. Weather could have been a bit better, but not much, not complaining. Still, I felt like I needed a holiday after our holiday.

Looking forward to Cuba in late October. It's Vun's parents 50th and they wanted to celebrate it with the whole family in Cuba. So hopefully, we'll be there for two weeks, and I will get a true rest then. Nothing but beach and snorkeling (aparently there's a reef right in front of our hotel. Can't wait.

Getting back into everything at work. Seems like I'm already in Fall mode. Just the way things are. Summer feels like it's already over for me. Will try to get some more beach time in. Although the beaches around here are closed because of bacteria levels...sniff....sniff.

So, yes, we're all still alive, God is good and if we weren't God is still good.

Had the chance to spend extensive time with good friends this summer, some for just a day, some for a week and some for time in between, loved it all. Just had the McMurray's here this weekend. It was a last minute thing, but a welcome visit, hadn't been with them for a long time and had missed them miserably.

Kids are good, things are good, more soon...(although I won't promise exactly when)

Dumb things you do...

Ok, sometimes I do really, really stupid things. Several years ago, I told you, how, when trying to teach Lucas, then 2, about not touching a hot stove, I actually put my hands on the hot stove, burning my own hand. Great modeling.

Flash forwd six years to just a few days ago.

Every night before we go to bed, Vania and I prepare a couple of milk bottles for Marcello to have at night. We fill them halfway, and boil some water, which place it in a thermos, so that when he needs a bottle we place the hot water in, mixing with the colder milk, makes a nice, warm, bottle of milk.

Well, a few days ago, while going through our nightly ritual, somehow, Vania broke a plastic piece on the inside of the thermos lid. For some reason I wasn't sure whether it was going to make a difference, so.....

...I proceeded to close the lid and turned the thermos upside down. When it started leaking, extensively, I instinctively put out my hand to catch the boiling water. I caught a whole bunch of it and then I screamed. And Vania, well she began laughing hysterically.

You'd think I would have gotten angry, but she was laughing so hard, I started laughing as well. Well, the burns were minor, I think my ego was more burnt than anything else. Which is ok too.

Us and Gas (no not that kind)

It's late afternoon, Vania steps out the door and asks me, "do you smell gas?"

I had just smelled it a few seconds before. But we're outdoors, where could it be coming from?

I walk over to the gas line, nothing. I hear it now. I walk into the garage and the, just filled, propane tank is visibly leaking. I check, it's turned off.

I, very uncomfortably, disengage it from the bbq and pull out into the middle of the front yard. I try to tighten the safety valve with a pair of plyers, I make it worst.

Anyway, long story short, called the firemen. They came. They didn't know what to do. They took the leaking tank.

Only one thing I didn't understand. They put the tank inside a closed compartment in the fire truck. Meaning that when they got to the Hall, this compartment would be filled with gas. My fire fighter neighbour couldn't believe they were doing that. But they couldn't just leave it here either.

Anyway, I haven't heard of anything going wrong, so it seems like everything turned out ok.

This past weekend's fun!

On the weekend my in-laws showed up and Vania's dad (and me with a little last minute contribution) put up Vania's much desired porch swing. It's not just any porch swing as he made it himself in his basement over the winter months. It'll be something we treasure for a long time.

While we were putting up the porch swing...something funny/ok I'm not sure it was funny, happened.

Shane one of our town men (with a pretty nasty reputation) showed up at the "drug house". I'll just refer to it as that from now on. Anyway, Shane has been to our church a bunch of times and I've gotten to know him somewhat. I actually have a picture of him holding Marcelo at Church. Anyway, when he showed up, I thought I'd walk over to say hi. I did. I shouldn't have. As we were talking he somehow got the idea (nothing I said - trust me) that I was the one who ratted out my neighbours to the police and proceeded to tell my neighbours that. At the same time someone he didn't like showed up and a fight broke out. (He nicely told me I had to leave before this happened). I just walked back to the porch and observed. He threw a few things, broke a few things and left. I thought the fun was over. It was just about to begin. All of a sudden the daughter in my neighbours house stepped out of their door held back by two people screaming and pointing at me..."YOU F*** RAT!" My father in law looked at me puzzled and asked, "is she talking to you?" The people holding her pulled her back in the house after a few more colorful expelitives and I decided to walk over. The mom (she was the one arrested two weeks ago) came back out and we talked. I didn't know what to say really, so I said, I don't know what you've been told, but we didn't call the police on you. We talked some more, she was pretty pleasant, and I told her, since they know I'm a pastor, that God loved them. She shook my hand and I walked away. I don't really know where this leaves things. I'm as much expecting something to happen to my property as anything else. But that's the risk you take. Oh well, we'll see where this goes. This is where the wheels of love meet the road and although I'm learning as I go, I know that this is where Jesus wants me.

Yesterday was mother's day, had a good morning, a lot of the family showed up for lunch, I slept through that, and then in the evening we kids/mom and I went on a bike ride together. The first of many this year we hope.

We came back home just in time to catch the Survivor finale. I remembered why I'd stopped watching Survivor a few seasons ago. Sometimes there's just someone who deserves to win, and you really wish they will win and they did all they could to win, and although a nice guy (as nice as they come I guess) won - but still not the guy who deserved it. It was a disappointment to me. Not that you care.

I mentioned last Friday that Senzenina was throwing up all day Friday. Well, today, Monday was the first day she was able to eat and keep things down. As a result she's lost a bit of weight, which she doesn't have a lot of to begin with. Marcelo caught whatever she had, but seems to be a little more resilient to it than she was, almost back to normal with him.

And that my friends was my weekend!

Miscellaneous...

A good friend of mine was worried. I haven't been blogging regularly. They were wondering what was behind it. Too stressed? Too busy? Just don't feel like it? They were worried about me. It's good to have friends. I don't know what I'd do without my friends.

So, this is more of an update than anything else. And I know I will not cover all the things that I've missed, but I'll get some of them.

First of all, no, I'm not stressed, not too busy that I can't blog. Pretty much, just don't feel like it too much. Every time I sit down and think of something that I could blog about, something of greater priority comes up, like going bikeriding with my children. And with the weather getting warmer, there always seems to be something of greater priority going on. Blah, blah, blah, at the end of the day, I just haven't felt like it much, greater priority or not. I think a lot of it genuinely is the fact that I spend so much time on the computer working, when I get a break, I don't really feel like being on the computer, if I don't have to.

So, bikeriding. Over the last week, actually it all happened in two days last weekend, Xanda and Lucas (in that order) have moved from four wheels to two wheels. This has opened a whole new world, as I knew it would, in terms of what we could do together. So, the three of us have gone much farther, than the usual, around the block on the sidewalk rides. We've gone to the park, around the neighbourhood, and we're (Vun and I) are looking forward to hitting the trails (we've got some really good ones around here) this spring and summer. As for Senzenina and Marcelo, we've got one of those really cool behind the bike thingys that they can sit in and get pulled by me. So the whole family is bike mobile. Niagara trails, here we come...

Moving on...

The drug house across from us what busted. Sort of.
For those of you who don't know, we have a drug house across from us. Real famous place, has a bigger congregation than we do at POG, a much, much bigger congregation. There's a great volume of traffic (pardon the pun) on our street as a result of this.
Anyway, last Thursday they were busted. Cops showed up in an umarked truck and minivan and went in. Unfortunately, they get busted once every year, get their hands slappped and are up and running right after the cops leave. This might sound ridiculous, but the cops waited for them to stop a few sales that were ongoing, before they actually went in.

One of my struggles, since day one here, has been, how am I supposed to pray for, relate to, love these people? I've found everybody's got different feelings about this one. I think I've come to this, they need to know God loves them. Having said that, in order to discover that, like the rest of us, if they're ever going to experience the kind of relationship with God he longs to have with them, they need to come to the end of their self-sufficiency. Their self sufficiency is the sale of drugs. So, I'm praying that God will stop that, with whatever measures need to be taken. But at the other side of things they need to know God loves them and that there's something more meaningful than that life. And so, like any other neighbour I have that needs to know that, somehow, I've got to be a real, visual aid to them. Don't know exactly how to do that, since knowing that I'm a pastor, they keep their distance pretty good. But we'll see...

We continue to love our time in the Port. It just is a wonderful place to be.

Spiritually, I continue to be tested, tried and stretched. There's no question God's doing something. But more and more I'm realizing the steps are often slow and long. I believe the days of "Build it and they will come" are over. Okay, that might still work in the big city if you build an exciting enough place with enough ammenities for the church consumers. So, you might be able to fill the church, but never have a "Church." That's not the story of every big city church and the point of this is not to point fingers at all. The point that I'm discovering is that ministry is about cultivating relationship with people. And cultivating by nature is something that is slow rather than something you can plan a five or ten year strategy that will bear the intended results of the strategy plan. Anyway, that's just what I'm finding where I'm planted. Which is perfectly fine, as I could see myself here for a very long time.

Our home, well renovations are going really slowly. At a snails pace. meanning we really haven't done anything since we arrived. We have lots of dreams. And who knows, 15 years from now we'll have the home we've always dreamed of, or it'll still look much the same. Actually, with us, it's very unlikely that it'll look the same, as we often get tired and then make changes... But it's all good. In time.

So that's my miscellaneous update. After I post this I'll remember a million things. Like the fact that Senzenina was sick and throwing up all day yesterday and a bunch of other things I can't think of right now or maybe the fact that I have several thousand pictures that I need to get out of my camera and into our picture gallery.

Later...

The call Ed never wants to get...

This morning I received a call from a friend of ours here in town. Someone we've been building a relationship with since we arrived in town. Truth is, she does more for us than we do for her. The other day, jokingly, I said to Vania, maybe she's trying to convert us.

Truth is, we love her. She really is a good friend.

Still, this morning I got a call from her. Her grandfather was in the hospital with late stage cancer. He's 83 and the doctors say this is it. The family, a non-church going family, didn't know who else to call, so she called me. I can't stand hospitals, but God's giving me a special grace for them. Worst, I hate hospitals and death, but God's giving me grace upon grace.

I went, took some extra medicine, just in case, and spent some time with the family. It was like walking into my grandmother's room just before she passed away four years ago. He's at the point where he spends more time unconscious than conscious. He's not at a place where he can communicate anymore.

The family, obviously in pain, but obviously aware of eternal things, asks for help. "Can you do anything?" I read some scripture, I prayed. "Thank you, but Can you forgive his sin?"

Can you forgive his sin? The question weighed down my heart as I didn't know what to say. I mean I know what the right answer was. And so I was speechless for a moment. I prayed again. But I know it was not what they were looking for. I couldn't give them what they were looking for. They were very appreciative for my time there, and no doubt this could lead to a deeper relationship. But they were looking for the same peace the thief on the cross looked to Jesus for. For a moment they expressed faith for someone else. But I've always been told, I've always taught, not good enough. I wish there was a Bible story we could draw from at a time like this. A time where grace wasn't offered because it was too late. I couldn't think of one.

Everything within me wanted to say, "Be at peace - through Jesus your faith has brought your grandfather eternal peace." Sounds like something Jesus might say. My theology says it's not and so my heart is broken.

There's a good chance many will feel I'm just not strong enough in my beliefs. It would be easy if it was that simple.

I don't really want to discuss this right now, so I will not leave this post open to comments.

What would you do if? Update...

For all of you who have been praying for my friend/neighbour who had only been given a few weeks to live. We have good news.

After a week of incredible experiences like funeral planning and the sort, the life threat has subsided.

One of the options was for the blood clot to travel back down toward the leg. At the beginning of the weekend it appeared this was happening so they decided to do another ultrasound.

The ultrasound revealed nothing. That is, he still has the blood clot on his leg. But nothing traveling toward the heart. The best explanation the doctors can give is that it must have been a shadow. The skeptic in me is not suggesting anything at this point. If it was indeed a shadow, it frustrates me that doctors would give a worst case scenario without more clear evidence.

I thank you for your prayers in this matter.

What would you do if?

For the sake of privacy I'm keeping the name out of this post.

I met him last year at our neighbourhood BBQ. He came, he sat quietly. Besides the children, he was clearly the youngest person present, maybe 20 or so. He was also the biggest person present. At well over six feet he had the appearance of a gentle giant. His slow walk and the cane he used indicated he had a story. That day we talked, at length, and I found out he had a lifetime history of pain and illness. Not the least of which was a blood clot the whole length of his left leg. That and a back problem explained the cane.

He lives a few hundred feet down the street from me. Since that BBQ we haven't really talked. I can't say I had really seen him in all this time. Truth is, his illnesses keep him pretty house bound, and as several of us, on the street, like to joke, when Winter comes, we all hibernate. But Winter's gone and Spring is here. With Spring comes signs and the promise of new life.

Last week I saw him again. As I was putting out the garbage he just showed up. I invited him in and we talked.

As a pastor I've asked the following question at more than one small group meeting. It's a simple question designed to get people to evaluate the way they live and make the choices to live the way they really would like to live. It's simply this, "If you knew you only had a month to live, how would you live that month?" A question like that, when taken seriously gets people to think about the things they value most in life, without having to actually deal with the death part of it.

Well, as my neighbour and I talked I found myself at a loss for words. Two weeks ago his doctor told him something had gone terribly wrong with the blood clot in his leg. A portion of the clot was loose making it's way to his heart. He had 30 days to live. Last week, the day we first talked, the doctor had just given him news that the timeframe was even less, he only had 20 days to live. As I said, that was a week ago.

Since then we have had quite a bit of time together. The reality, however, is that it's not so much 20 days to live, but 20 days 'till things get critical. He has one chance, the clot will reach one point where it either goes to the heart or to the lungs. If it goest to the heart it will kill him very quickly. If it goes into the lungs he has a good chance of being operated and surviving.

However, when the odds are like that, the doctors make certain you know how grave the situation is, and that this is the time to make things right that need to be made right. Not just that, but you have to make other plans, that 22 year olds normally don't think of making. Plans like making a will. And the worst of all, is what the two of us will be doing tomorrow morning. Making funeral arrangements.

Although I know what it feels like to be told by a doctor, if you do this there a high risk that you will die. That seems like a lifetime ago. Although I remember, thinking through some of these things then. The truth is, I don't know how he's holding it together. Being thrown into this situation has also been a fly by the seat of your pants kind of experience. Nothing prepares you for something like this.

We have talked lots! At first I felt there was two things he needed to settle in his mind. First, if, indeed, he only had 20 days to live, how did he want to live that time? What did he need to do? What did he need to settle? The second possibility is a scenario most people don't think about when they hear worst case scenarios. The odds are just as strong you will not die. That being the case, what do you need to do in the next 20 days? Most of all, somehow, you need to find the desire, the will and the faith to want to live. otherwise, you'll give up before the time ever comes.

I won't go on much longer now except to say, please pray for my friend as he's having to make plans with the possibility in mind that he's only got two weeks to live, while at the same time, trying to find the reason to fight for his life. Pray for peace whatever the circumstances are. Even if this does not lead to death in 20 days, needed surgery will, more than likely, make the next part of the journey, a tough one.

His goals for the next two weeks. To spend time with friends and family. To settle things that need to be settled. To get to know God better.

My request on his behalf, please pray and please have your friends and faith communities praying for him. I'm sending out an e-mail to all my friends tomorrow morning asking them to do this, I ask that you would do the same.

Ouch...

Okay, that's not a picture of my mac.

Still this morning, as I was coming down the stairs, holding my mac, I slipped.

As I did, I watched, in utter terror, as my open IBook went tumbling down 15 steps. I don't know how to describe that feeling to you. But it felt somewhat like watching Xanda tumbling down a set of stairs at a friends house when she was just over a year old. Now you're going to say my priorities are pretty messed up, but I'm just telling you how it felt at the moment.

I picked up the iBook at the bottom of the stairs and walked into my living room. It was off. I really did not want to try and turn it on, but I knew I had to. And so I pressed the ON button. I was immediately greeted by the familiar turning over of the harddrive followed by the now, very reassuring, opening apple sound. Next the apple screen came on and the little wheel hub began to turn and before I knew it, my mac was running. And since I posted this on it, so far so good.

The next few days will be testing, as you're always waiting for it not to turn on after something like this happens.

My dad always says, "It can always be wost!" And I would have to agree. It's not uncommon for me to slip on the stairs because of my foot. I usually walk down extra carefully, especially when I'm holding Marcelo. I guess I just let my guard down a little too much today.

You saved my life!

Several weeks ago I was called to visit with someone who I knew was having a hard time with drugs and with having a desire to even live. Two weeks before they had attempted suicide.

I arrived to a scene I wasn't expecting and wasn't ready for.

The gentleman that greeted me at the door was naked. He had just finished doing cocaine and was very agitated. He knew who I was and invited me in.

As we walked into the house I saw the blood. It was all over his hands. And as he led me into the kitchen it was all over the floor leading into the washroom. I can only describe the washroom as a scene out of some movie.

He had just done Cocaine, was hallucinating, and was very agitated, as I mentioned. And I? I had no clue what I was supposed to do. So, I just kept as calm as I could. While also trying to get him to calm down.

Here's what I can say thinking back. God was there! Even though initially I was scared out of my head, not knowing what could happen, very soon I was at complete peace. That peace allowed me to talk him down and to try and help him to see some reasons he had for living as well as some ways that he could get some help.

Since then we've been in the process of doing just that. He is scheduled to go somewhere for six months and get some real help. Meanwhile several men from the church have also built a relationship with him and for the first time in his life, this gentleman feels like he's got a reason to live.

He's been coming to church now and is beginning to rebuild his life. He's given his life over to God and really wants God to lead. Today, as we were out for coffee he said, "Ed I really want this old man to die and be buried. I want a new man to come out. A good man."

We talked at length about what Jesus could do in him and through someone like him if he remained surrendered, if he got help, and if he was willing to remain in relationship with people who would help him on this relationship that he's began with God.

As he dropped me off, he said words that I really didn't know how to hear. He looked at me after we prayed and said, "You saved my life." Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think I did any such thing. I can't think of anything I did that could even remotely be rendered that way. I was just there for him when he needed me to be. More than anything I just pray that this is a story where God really takes control and does his thing! And right now, this moment, I have faith he really will.

It's funny, God's giving me a special kind of love for people like this gentleman. And it's not just about people on drugs. But the people who get to the pig pen and begin to realize that their heavenly father's house is so much better.

So why write this at all, build my ego? Not quite. Although I'm not giving you his name I need you, if you remember, to pray for my friend. For strength for this period before he goes in for real help. For the period he's away, and then for his return into society. Specifically, he needs good friends. Fortunately God's already put some good people in his life. But some good Christian friends who will be some good mentors. Also, for day to day victory over the things that would pull him back to where he was. For a good relationship with his daughters. Most of all, pray that God would really take a hold of his life and completely turn him around toward God and all that God desires for him.

For someone who made a life out of being rough and tough. And developing a relationship as a bad guy. This guy has a heart of gold. I would love to see all that God could do in and through him

I guess, I, for his sake and for God's glory would love to see a new life to such an incredible degree that it would be a testimony of what God can do in our midst.

Very excited about what God is doing!!!

Tired!

Went to bed last night at 1:30am.
Woke up at 4:30am.
Was awake until 7:30am.
Woke up again at 10am.
Got up and worked.
It's 4:45pm. Must stay awake.
Will go to bed tonight at 7pm.

The Orchid

Three years ago, on the way back from a Pastor's conference, I stopped at a flower farm to pick up a gift for Vania. I was going to pick up roses. However, when I walked in I saw a beautiful orchid with three beautiful flowers on it. I thought it was pretty cool, so I bought it.

The lady proceeded to tell me how delicate the orchid is and how much it would take to care for it. I think I nearly gave her an annurysm when I told her it just needed to last enough time to get home and for my wife to see it. I think she really had second thoughts on selling it. Vun and I don't have a green thumb, or a green anything. So, I fully expected this thing to die within the week.

Well time went by and eventually, at their right time, those flowers did die. But not because our bad care, that's just what happens. But as you see in the picture above. Our orchid has bloomed once more. I'd love to say it's because of our wonderful prowess in caring for orchids. But then you'd know I'd be lying.

The truth is, if we've watered this thing twice a month in the last three year, that's being generous. But to my surprise, I woke up one morning and said, "look, it bloomed."

I don't know what the lesson to be learned here is. I just think it's really cool!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Hoping all of you had a Merry Christmas and that you will have a joyful transition into the New Year.

May your New Year bring you deeper into the knowlege and experience of Jesus Christ.

Exciting Weekend - Part III

This Sunday I did a narrative on the character of Simeon. I've done this character before. Except this time I really had some fun getting into character. You can see what I mean in the picture below.

There's more pictures if you click on the link to "continue reading..."

I shaved my head on Saturday night. When I walked into the living room, Vania said, I'd just aged 20 years.

The only positive is that I'll never wear this hair style aside from having fun like this.

When I got home from church Senzenina helped me to shave the rest of my hair off, and now I'm really, really bald. For a few days anyway.

You can also watch a short video on the POG website.

As the last three posts indicate. I had a pretty exciting weekend!

An exciting weekend...Part I

Yesterday was Vun and my 11th anniversary. We've always taken the pawn our kids off to someone and get away for at least one night of R&R. Over the last two years, this has not been an option as our pastor's and wives weekend falls a few weeks before this. Affording two weekends at a hotel, is beyond our means.

That is...unless some of your friends, jump in and come up with a creative solution. And so, This past week, Jonathan and Ashlee offered to babysit our kids overnight, and made their apartment available for Vania and I to go and have a night of....well, you can figure it out.

You can see the pictures of how they'd had their apartment sept up when we arrived. The Hotel Abraham.

We had a great dinner and a great night without the kids. We woke up late and went to the Studio West Cafe and enjoyed some good food.

All in all a perfect celebration of our Anniversary.

The kids behaved well. So maybe we didn't cure Jay and Ashlee from a desire not to have kids soon.

Thank you guys. We loved it.

This world is not my home, or is it?

So what will happen at the end of time with this old earth? I grew up thinking, I think being subversively (I don't rememeber anyone ever overtly teaching about this) taught that when Jesus came back it'd be the end of this world. Even many of the uses of the word "world" in church circles are often negative. I remember one preacher saying, in an negative rant against those attempting to suggest that part of the churches' stewardship is the care of the earth, "if they think we're ruining the earth, wait 'till they see what God's going to do to it." I think hinting at a Appocalyptical destruction of this earth, as part of God's judgment on sin.

On a short tangent, the Bible says that in the end there will be a new heaven and a new earth. Does that mean that the present heaven will also be done away with? Or does new mean something different than just another instead of this one?

Three trains of thougth at reshaping my thoughts on this whole matter (I know pastors only think in threes). One, does Jesus death have implications beyond securing, for some individuals, a spot in the eternal worship service in the sky? Two, what is "all" creation groaning for, as in the pains of childbirth? Three, when Jesus says, in the new beginning, "behold, I am making 'all' things new. What does all entail?

Okay, not enough room to go on all the rabbit trails I've been on, and will probably continue to be on myself. But I'll just leave some thoughts.

One, Jesus' death has much bigger implications than just the securing of a spot for me a place in the eternal worship service in the sky, sometime in the distant or imminent (depending how you see it) future. And the Scriptures seem to suggest that at least part of that implication seems to have to do with the redemption of "this old/young" earth.

Two, maybe St. Franicis did have it right. He preached to creatures because he believed Jesus' death had at it's heart the redemption of not just individuals, but all of creation. I think he missed something, but that's my opinion. Still, I think his point was right, Jesus' death will mean that creation, this one right here, the one that he said was "good" to begin with, is something that will be redeemed and made new. New in the same way that we will be made new; redeemed, reclaimed, and given new meaning and purpose.

Three, ok, I just suggested as much, but when Jesus said, LOOK, I am making "all" things new. I think this earth that many of us sing, is not our home, is part of the "all" Jesus was talking about. Yes, I'm suggesting that this "good" earth, will be around for a long time, because Jesus died so that it, too, could be redeemed from the destruction of sin. In this sense, 'new' is beyond what we might be able to even imagine right now. Just like when we're made new what we will be might be something that today we wouldn't even recognize as ourselves in a mirror. In being made new, this earth might undergo redemptive changes too.

I'm sure this will all sound rather simplistic and not theological sound enough. Still, what it does mean to me, is that what you and I do right now and in the future in relationship to and with this earth is of eternal spiritual significance.

C'mon get your hands dirty!

Spent the morning helping out at the local foodbank. Packed some food. Talked to people. Drove one lady home. Great way of connecting with people. Wished I had done it sooner. I've volunteered before, but it always seems that something comes up.

Over this past year I've been trying to figure out where it's important for me to spend my time. I know, did it really need to take a year to figure that out. Probably not, but when you spend years where pastoral work is mostly done in an office it's not easy to leave that behind. Anyway, not the issue, I was surprised, maybe shouldn't have been, but was surprised by the the fact that most of the people involved and helping were over 60. I asked about that, and was told that's pretty much par for the course around here. I guess my challenge is this, if you've got some extra time, why not get involved in some community program where you're building relationships with people in need. C'mon, get your hands dirty! Just a thought.

Ever wonder what God spares you from?

You've seen the video of the snowy fun we had last Thursday and Friday. Now let me tell you about the other side of things that left us freaked out and saying "Thank you God!"

Late Friday, after a day without electricity, heat, and hot water. As well as a flooding basement and a leaking bathroom. I decided that if the electricity didn't return by the evening we'd travel to Mississauga and stay at my mom's.

Early evening I headed out to deliver a meal to someone who's been recovering from surgery. Just as a I walked back in the house, the electricity came on. Still, it had just started to snow again, so I told Vania we were going anyway, not really trusting that the electricity would remain on.

And so I began packing the van. Our living room was filled with burning candles as we were using them for light and heat, it had worked pretty well throughout the day.

Ok, by this time the electricity's been on for about 25 minutes. At this point Vania decided to check the basement to find out how high the water had come up. What she didn't expect was to met by a wall of GAS.

When the electricity came on, it turned on the Gas boiler and the water heater. However, since both pilot lights had been put out when the water flooded the basement, when the appliances came on they started filling the space with GAS.

Vania closed the door, screamed (really, she did) for the kids to leave the house, we then both screamed, "the candles", ran into the living room and blew out the candles as quickly as we could. Vania rushed outside and I went downstairs to turn off the gas, but as I began to do so, Vania screams, "there's a candle in the bathroom!" That would be the room right beside the door to the basement. I ran back up, and blew that out. All I can hear at this point is my heart pounding!

Ok, long story short, I was able to turn off the gas, and we left for Mississauga immediately.

We were pretty shaken as we didn't really talk about it for about half an hour. The only thing that kept going through my mind was what could have been.

What would we be thankful for if we could see all the things that God spared us from?

Ok, this is an aside, for fire prevention week, Xanda had to prepare an evacuation plan in case of an emergency. Her plan, everyone has to go to the girls bedroom, dad breaks one of the windows, jumps out first and then catches all the rest of the family. The window is almost 20feet up.

So, when I finally get in the car, and after the girls stop crying because they thought their toys were going to go up in smoke, Xanda is upset. She's upset because we didn't follow her evacuation plan.

You try and explain to your six year old that if you're near a door that's the better way out than her well thought out and crafted plan. She never did agree with our decision making.

It's a Blizzard! (Update)

No, we're not talking about the "Dairy Queen" kind. It's the 12th of October, and today, here in Port, we had a snow blizzard all day long!

Well we woke up on Friday at 6 am to exploding transformers and trees falling. There were at least two fires caused by broken tree limbs landing on power lines right around our house.

With all the commotion we almost missed the fact that, eh, it's Friday the 13th, that means, it's Xanda's sixth birthday! Happy Birthday Kiddo.

I also put together a new version of the snow video as Friday morning there was way more snow.

Here you are!

My Thanksgiving

I had an interesting Thanksgiving Weekend.

It all started with waking up sneezing and sniffling on Saturday morning. The sneezing and the runny nose kept getting worst.

The afternoon and the rest of the day had us at Jonathan and Ashlee's Wedding. A wonderful wedding with at least five pastors involved in the ceremony. I did the announcements and a prayer. Ok, by then the cold was at full throttle and I forgot the prayer, but did it when reminded.

In the evening I had to MC the reception. Again, lots of fun, really, but the cold just kept getting worst. It really was an awesome wedding for two really cool friends.

Sunday morning, ok, now I'm living on Tylenol Cold. I wake up late. I have to lead worship. I have no voice. But we make it through most of the service. I don't remember most of the service, not in a coherent manner anyway. Someone described the service as powerful. One of those, when you are weak moments. I love it when God just does really cool things when you just don't have anything to offer.

The afternoon had us travelling to Ajax for family thanksgiving. I made it through afternoon Thanksgiving dinner, laid down for a moment on the couch, and slept the rest of the day away. Woke up at 11:30, went to bed, slept into the morning. Planned to get up and going early this morning, slept in again. However, with all that sleeping, the cold is much better, although I sound a lot worst.

All in all, cold and all, I had a really good Thanksgiving. Just wished my head was a little clearer through it all. But eh, as Paul said, "give thanks in all circumstances."

This Thanksgiving I am glad for family, friends and a God that is faithful, even when I am not.

Pregnant?

No, we're not pregnant again...

Vun woke up this morning startled. She had a dream that Alexandra came home from school and announced she was pregnant...since Xanda (Shunda) is only in grade one, this whole thing reminded me of a "Deep Thought" for those who used to watch Saturday Night Live back then...here goes - Good old Jack said...

"I believe in making our world safer for our children, but not for our children's children, because children shouldn't be having children."

Funny the things that stay in your head...

It's a September Wedding...

I'm a bachelor for a couple of days.

Vun's left, with the kids, to go up to the Huntsville area for a wedding this evening. The wedding starts at 6:00pm and, get this, it's outdoors. Now, normally, I really like outdoor weddings. But, it's pretty cool out there. I can imagine how cold it'll be in Huntsville this evening at 6PM. Although I wish I could have been there, for my friends, I'm sure I won't be missing the cold.

Pictures up from our holidays

Finally got pictures up from our holidays, as well as pictures that Vania and I took on "The Empire Sandy" during Canal Days at Port Colborne.

"Some just hide it better"

In Tim's response to the last post, he said about destructive habits, "we all need mercy(some of us hide it better than others)." This got me thinking.

I mentioned that last weekend I spent Saturday at Cultivate, at the Freeway. One of the topics we talked about was social justice and under that, one of the sub-topics was same-gender attractedness and the church.

One of my questions in longing to become a church that has an open door to those who are same gender attracted, and anyone else for that matter. I mention this group of people because I think the Church has a really bad track record with them. And the old, "I love you, but I hate the sin in you" flies about as good as chikens do, as an attempt to bridge the huge gap that exists.

My point was this, as a Christian when I enter into relationship with an homosexual or lesbian person, knowing that I'm a Christian, they don't let it go too long before they force the issue and ask me where I stand. In many situations this conversation can be the end of the relationship. Because, as I mentioned, trying to get accross that we love them and not the sin, is to try and differentiate between two things that they don't see either as sin, or separate (who they are and their sexuality.) I've often struggled with these conversations, because I don't want that to be the point that would prematurely end a relationship, even though it's not really in my control.

Wendy a representative of "New Life Ministries", might have that name wrong, but anyway, Wendy made this point. One of the things that will take us farther in the relationship when that moment finally arrives, is to recognize that all of us are broken sexually. This is not just to ignore an issue or not to stand for something, on the contrary, recognizing that we are all broken, gives us the room to be able to express our position, recognize them and the relationship without establishing us vs. them and thereby making it very hard to remain in relationship.

And so, borrowing from Tim, we are all broken, some of us just hide it better than others. Or worse, sometimes we hide behind the lie that at least our brokeness is not as bad as theirs. Which always leads to self-righteousness. True community recognizes and seeks to redeem all brokeness. If we really want to help the broken, the place to start is with our own brokeness.

pain...

He pulled his shirt sleeves up to show me the track marks. She was embarassed. She had a hard time looking me in the eyes. I tried to comfort her, she talked about whatever she could come up with, so we would really talk. She wanted to leave. He talked a lot, at times incoherently. Both say they want out. Both were looking for a quick fix. Not the usual kind. In that moment, they knew it was enough. To keep doing this will eventually kill them, physically and spiritually. God kept coming up in the conversation. But it was a different God. One that could be manipulated. One that should respond when I call, move when I plead, but one I don't have to be in relationship with.

In their words was hopelessness. Speaking of getting out, but not being sure they could. After all, they've both been in this place before. She starts detox tomorrow, and once again the journey begins. Soon she'll be back in church. She'll probably feel alone. She'll probably try to win her way in. To show enough forgiveness. She'll be loved and welcomed.

I stood there, feeling incredibly lost. Searching for the "right" words that I just couldn't find. Searching through my Christian platitude mental database that just didn't have anything for this moment. Pastors are supposed to know what to say at all times, I didn't know. Finally I said, I'll be there if through the journey, if you want me to. I don't know if that was right, or good. It was all I could think of saying.

They shared of a house with no groceries. Void of all the things that had already been sold to support the habit. I offered them food. That's when I discovered, they're still not at the bottom. The pride is still too strong. They would rather steal, than take a gift from someone who cares. They need to hit the bottom before they really want to get out, if they ever get there.

School doesn't prepare you for this. I want to help, I don't know how.

Cultivate

Had the opportunity to Hangout at the the Freeway, in Hamilton for the day yesterday.

Three of us from POG spent the day at Cultivate - a learning party. People came from as far west as Vancouver - good to finally meet and dine with Mike Todd of Waving or Drowing, to as far East as Montreal - who hailed Kim, the man who didn't want to start a church, but God birthed church out of movies and pizza. Today they even have Choir practices. But I'll let him explain what choir practice is. Something I'd like to do at POG!

The day started with Vun and I meeting Gideon, a South-African about to plant a church in Hamilton. It was a neat connection. There's a neat tie that exists between all people born in Africa. It was an immediate relationship. I was only sorry we didn't talk more, although we ended up together on a lot of the same pods.

We talked about such things as Gatherings, Community, Social Justice and Creativity. We really did talk, aside for some impromptu talking heads, most of which took all of 3-5minutes, most of the time, the rest of us just talked in "pods". Discussing issues that might interest us about the overall topic. Also there was the freedom to move around since there was usually more than one group 'pod' talking about something that you might want to be in on.

I got to spend time in discussions such as preaching, sacraments, sustaining & executing creativity, same gender attractiveness and the church (a discussion that spanned two sessions for those of us who just weren't ready to move on yet.) Thanks Wendy to your contributions in the matter. And Wendy you really do need to blog!

We had a great lunch all together and then six of us went out to dinner together, futher deepening the relationships through the glue of Thai. Even if we were all soaking wet. Let's just say Pernell sucks at giving directions. And in the rain, bad directions are really, really bad.

A few things jumped out at me, alhtough someone else posted that they'd heard the word "Post Modern" way too many times throughout the course of the day, I never did. I walked in expecting to hear it all the time. That's just a side note.

I think of great consequence, the most important underlying theme I found was that those faith communities present who seemed to really be making a difference in their context shared one common denominator. Community! They had or were learning to really be in community. One description would be, they were learning to be family, but as one person said, it's a messy thing. They were the kind of places where people were learning to deal with not just their own crap, but the crap that comes when you try to relate in family with a bunch of other people. That and that the process is slow. More like simmering, rather than a fast-burn.

That was my greatest take away. Which just happens to deal with where we find ourselves as a church here at POG. If we're ever going to really be known for following after Christ, and if that following is ever going to impact the community outside of our walls, then we need to rediscover God centered Biblical community. We need to learn what it will mean for us to really "do" life together in a way that draws the "one-anothers" of scripture out of us and into the world in life-changing, even, world changing ways.

A few of us wrapped up the evening by watching "The Winking Circle" and hearing all about the wisdom of the three beans. As a side note, the movie was made by a couple of friends of ours in Uxbridge. That was cool. We should have really have gone home earlier, but Vun wouldn't have it.

All in all, a great day. You can catch some pictures here.

Street Party BBQ update

More pictures up in our Gallery from the Street Party/BBQ.
Enjoy!

Viva Portugal

No, I'm not referring to the Portugal vs. Netherlands game. That was a sorry game of soccer. Bad playing, bad reffing. What a waste.

But that's not what I'm writing about.

Just over a half hour ago, Vania and I received a package from friends in TO.

In the package, three Portuguese Soccer Team shirts and one Portuguese flag.

Thank you JLT North!

Our First Street Party

Yesterday "Saturday" evening we had our first street party. I say first because we hope to have more in the future.

It was a great success with us meeting many of the people on the street and them meeting each other it was pretty cool.

Vania and Glenys (one of our neighbours) were the organizers of the event. Vania was the MC and I was the BBQ guy. It all started out with a kids parade where Vania led all the kids down the street beating a drum, she recently got for a steal at a garage sale. The kids wore costumes, rode their bikes or were pulled on carts, and made lots of noise with their noise makers.

There were burgers and hot dogs to eat, lots to drink, and lots of games for the kids.

It was a lot of fun and there was a great sense of community pride!

Looking forward to greater opportunities to connect with and get to know all our neighbours.

If you'd like to see pictures, see the set at "our gallery". More will be added over the next couple of days.

Suprises

Found this drawing on the table the other day. Done by Lucas.

I like the name of his band - "Electric Dragon Pikachu"

World cup champions?

Watched the game between Argentina and Serbia/Monte Negro this morning. Argentina won 6-0.

Until then Serbia/Monte Negro had the best defense rating in the tournament. Argentina put on a soccer clinic making them look like the Argentinian championship team in 1986. Back in the days of Diego Maradona. If you were alive back then and into soccer, what an awesome world cup that was.

I'm predicting Argentina to take this one. My wife will kill me as she's of Brazilian descent. Of course, if it was a Brazil vs. Argentina final, which I'm also predicting - I'd be cheering for Brazil. But wouldn't be at all sad to see Argentina win.

Although it was very one sided, that was an awesome game to watch.

World Cup

Sunday morning we had some fun bantering at church about what the greatest sport in the world is. But just to give you an idea of how big soccer (football - the more accurate name) is, besides the billions+ people that watch the world cup final - Trinidad/Tobago have declared a public holiday so that their people could stay home to watch the England vs. Trinidad/Tobago game this afternoon. What a great sport!

UPDATE: Trinidad/Tobago lost, but they got a holiday to mourn the loss. Because after all, who could work after that.

Isn't that Cup just gorgeous? That's the holy grail of football, for those of you not as familiar with the sport.

Our Living Room

Tonight, this was the backdrop for our living room. It was a gorgeous night so Vun and took our lawnchairs out to our lawn. We got a small table, ice cream (with just a dab of Amoretto), we brought out my IBook and watched an episode of Gilmore Girls together. (okay, I'm not into Gilmore Girls very much, but I'm into my wife)

The moonlit night sky, the quietness of Port Colborne at night became our living room, it was pretty cool.

A big day

I won't be getting pictures back from the weekend for another week, so you'll have to wait. Anyway, today I fileted my first fish ever and I cooked it for my wife and kids. Vania loved it (in a large part because she didn't have to do it, I'm sure) but mostly because she loves fresh fish. Alexandra liked it lots, Lucas not so much and Senzenina, well, she couldn't get enough. I think she ate most of it. I also realized that to feed our family you need to do at least two fish. It was pretty cool to do something for the family and seeing them enjoying it so much. No, I don't think this will turn me into the family cook, it was just cool.

I'm back

I'm back!

Was away for the weekend (May 24) on a fishing trip to the Northlands, about an hour west of Timmins Northlands. The Northlands where I woke up to snow falling on my tent on Sunday morning. Snow that kept on falling for the rest of the entire day. But I wasn't cold, no, I was prepared. Yes, I was wearing almost every item of clothing that I took up (layers, the secret to warmth - that and no jeans - thank you Vania). We had about 5 hours of sunshine all weekend, welcomed sunshine, when it came. The rest was either rain or snow - and the cold to go with both. However, I never once was cold or wet, that's right not once. Okay, I'm repeating myself, but trust me, that was a big deal for me.

We did catch lots of fish. If you're a nature lover and believe this is an evil activity STOP NOW! There was six of us that went and each of us caught over 10 fish. We brought back 40 pounds of fish or so.

I caught the largest fish, a ten pound pike measuring 33 inches. By far the largest fish I've ever caught. I'll tell the story when I get the picture, it's a story you don't hear very many times, you'll understand later. Brought fish home to cook for my wife, should be fun. I'm not a fish eater, ate fish all weekend, and liked it too.

Okay, we're back and we're safe!

Photos Update...

Lots of photos uploaded. Been lazy lately.

Go to Our Gallery

Feels like Spring

It's a beautiful day! It's warm! It's bright!

It's a day filled with hope! In it is the promise of new life.

Happy Spring to you!

Bus Route

Yup, that's right, Port Colborne has a bus route. Last time we had a bus route it had to be terminated because of low ridership (if that's a word). So, it might only last a month, but for a month, the bus stops right in front of our house and goes by four times a day.

Anybody missing a head?

News out of Florida this week. I only caught this in the paper, so I don't know if it was in the news.

A lady returning from Haiti, was detained in Florida when she was found to have a human head in her luggage.

That's right, a human head. How do you figure you're going to get that through customs?

Local Newspaper

Here's a portion from a local paper this morning. I found it funny.

"Niagara Regional Police raided a Pelham home yesterday, seizing drugs, guns and a stolen backhoe"

Now they're stealing backhoes, darn thugs!

Costly....

Ok, the weirdest thing happened to me this week.

I've told you how I've been able to reduce my seizure preventative medicine over the last few months. However, that has had an adverse effect. When I do have to take it, because it isn't as often - it really affects me. I mean really, really, affects me. To the point that, when I take it I must lie down and then I pass out (go to sleep) for four or five hours. That never happened before, when I was taking it more regularly.

One of my friends on the same medicine, used to tell me how it affected them that way, and they couldn't understand how I'd take a double dose and still continue to function normally. Now I understand what they were talking about. Ok, that's not what this is about, directly.

Vania said I had to post this, or else she would, so here goes.

Last Saturday we had our Church audit. That is where our denomination people come down and talk to the leadership and myself about how things are going etc. I wasn't feeling too well, so I took my medication. Afterwards I came home and decided to take a nap in the living room. Okay, here's where things get weird.

When I woke up five hours later, I remembered having this strange dream that I was watching television, saw one of these advertisements for some work out system and ordered it. I mentioned it to Vania in passing and today....yup, it arrived. The worst part, it's not something I would have ordered in my right mind. So, after we had a good laugh, I sent it back. Never even took it out of the box. And that experience cost me almost forty bucks of shipping & handling. I won't tell you what the system cost...nothing I would have paid for that kind of stuff.

Vania said that I'm not allowed to sleep in the living room after I take my medication. I agreed.

I could have done something a lot better with that $40.

Sick!

YUCK!

Update: Okay, after being in bed since Sunday afternoon (not as good as it sounds- trust me) I decided I couldn't handle bed anymore. Not a hundred percent, but another day in bed and I might just decide to jump off the bed and really hurt myself :)

It's nice to be up! Even if things aren't back to normal. Want to eat all these good things that Vun won't let me touch. I'm on a ginger ale, bread and banana diet. But, so far, it really hasn't helped things. However, as my father always says, it could always be worst. I'm just happy to be up. Hopefully I'll be able to stay that way.

Nice Thursday everyone!

Published...

You heard it right, I'm published. I actually had an article published in the local paper yesterday. It was called, "God's offering of love." I was thinking that the article was a little too Christian originally, but they accepted it without any revisions. Anyway, that was a fun experience. If you want to read it you can keep reading, if not, that's cool too.

God's offering of Love

We've just celebrated Valentine's Day. No doubt, many of you bought cards and gifts to communicate your love to the special people in your life.
I woke up with three valentine's cards from my kids and one from my wife...which reminded me that I better get a card and some chocolates before the day was out. All ended well, and I know you won't tell.
According to what the Bible teaches, love is the highest factor in God's relationship with people, and our relationship with one another.
In a portion of scripture that you might have heard quoted at a wedding, or two. God says that true love never gives up. True love cares more for others than for self. True love doesn't want what it doesn't have. True love doesn't strut. True love doesn't have a swelled head. True love doesn't force itself on others. True love love doesn't revel when others grovel. True love takes pleasure in the truth. True love alway looks for the best. And true love never looks back, but keeps going to the end.
God thought this was such an important factor to our understanding of who he is that he sent Jesus to the world with one purpose, to be a visual aid of this kind of love. To show us this kind of love alive and in action. To do so, Jesus loved us unconditionally, sacrificially and mercifully.
You heard it right, God loves you without any conditions! It's not about you getting your life figured out and becoming good enough someday. It is about getting to know his love and accepting it on your behalf.
However, God doesn't only love unconditionally, he loves you sacrificially. For showing us what God's love was like, Jesus was crucified.
But God's love doesn't end there. God's love is also a love full of mercy. Instead of requesting payment for those areas where you or I might not measure up, and there's a bunch, God offers, anyone who will accept it, forgiveness. He makes up for us shortcomings by forgiving us in Jesus Christ.
That is God's offering of love to every individual, regardless of their past, their baggage and mistakes. A love that is unconditional, sacrificial and full of mercy.
How would your life be different, right now, if this was the kind of love you received? The kind of love you gave away?

That's it, my first publication. Framed beside the mayors comments on the budget. And above some advertising for the Portal Village Plaza.

Only in Port!

Health

Often many of you ask me about my health.

Just a quick update and a neat story as well.

Just before I came to Port I was having seizure activity of one kind or another almost on a weekly basis. There is no rhyme or reason to why. Although stress is a huge factor.

Since moving I had two minor seizures (my leg shaking kind of stuff) early on my time here. But that's it for the past five months. Not just that, but I'm taking much less medication as well.

I still passout (sleep heavily) on Sunday afternoons for 4 or 5 hours. We don't know what that's all about, except that Sunday mornings really, really wear me out. I mean, come home, don't eat, lie down and pass out for the rest of the day wear out.

Anyway, like I said, I haven't had a seizure of any kind for a long time. Kind of funny because when you were having so many, you basically live your life waiting for the next one. It's, honestly, always on the back of your mind, no matter what you're doing. Out for coffee, shopping, talking to someone on the street, it's always there.

Here's the neat story part...

I can usually tell when a seizure is coming on. This gives me time to get ready and prepare to deal with it. Most of you know the details of how that happens.

I went to bed early tonight, and a few hours later I woke up with the clear sense that I had a seizure coming on. So, I got out off the bed and got my trusted rope to tie around my leg. While I was getting off the bed, Vania who had been downstairs, was already half way up the stairs, asking me if I needed some Ativan (my seizure preventative medication). Only one problem, I never called her, or made any kind of movements that would suggest I was going to have a seizure.

Anyway, althought the sense was there for a while, I didn't have to wrap my leg, and the sense went away, without anything actually happening.

At that point I asked Vania why she came up. She said that she thought she heard me calling and that she heard me get the rope (an old guitar chord). I looked at her and said, "You were up the stairs talking to me before I had gotten anywhere near the rope, and I never called.

Neat to see God in the little things of life.

It's one AM. Need to go to sleep. Fortunately I've already got three and a half hours sleep tonight. Just thought that was worth sharing.

have a good Wednesday all - I intend to

Excited about car repairs?

Okay, you've heard me go on about car repairs in the last year.

Today's a little different than usual.

I'd been holding out from taking our van in. Mostly regular stuff, needed to get tires changed as I slid further than I had inteded into several intersections the last snowfall. Liquids changed. And an engine light that came on, oh about 3 months ago. I wasn't looking forward to taking the van in.

Sliding into intersections and the steering wheel shaking uncontrollably, as I drove, was the last straw.
Took the van in this morning expecting another $500 plus bill. I don't think car bills come in less than $500, and increments thereof.

Well, I go to pick it up this afternoon. And after some brand new tires. An engine light that is no longer on. Steering that is stable. An oil change and a few other things, the bill came in at a whopping $290. With labour adding up to all of $21. $21? I'm used to labour being at least twice the price of parts.

I was actually happy to spend the money. If such a thing can be said. I also told the guy he had a customer for life! And lots of really good recommendations.

So, if you ever need something done in the car...might be worth the drive to Port Colborne! I like it so much, I moved here!

Tough week...

Each time I go online, my home page is, well, my homepage. And everytime I look at it I'm reminded of how little I've blogged lately. But to be honest, I haven't had the desire to blog much lately.

This past week in particular was a tough week. It seemed that Satan was on the prowl around here. And when you have many young Christians, that can mean severe damage or what seems like it, all at once. And so it seemed that there was bleeding all over the place and we were trying to stop it everywhere. If the church is a people then anytime one of those people is hurt or has their life shaken up, it can resound in pain for the whole body.

It just got to the point where I wasn't sure what was going to happen in several relationships...still a few in limbo. But in the midst of this, something happened that wasn't just neat, I believe it was God interveening and saying, eh, ed, this is my gig and I'm in control, no matter what it looks like at any one moment.

We've been talking about what it means to be the church Jesus envisioned. Sunday I spoke on Unity. Not what I had planned on speaking on, but what was most needed to address at the time. I really can't stand it when, after church, people come to you and tell you that you just delivered a "nice" message, especially when you know their lives and you don't see anything happening. But I don't find that too often here. So, on Sunday several people who were struggling with this issue of relationship breakdown and gossip in particular came to me and told me how they had needed to hear this...and then they walked upstairs, where we were having a spaghetti lunch put on by our men, and proceeded to sit down with the very people they had walked away from in broken relationships not too long ago.

That was a wow moment for me.

I don't like tough weeks. But sometimes it's exacly what you need in order to see God.

There were many other things like that last week, that I can't share. Don't get me wrong, There were many things where, things are worst this week than last week, but the truth remains...God wants us to know, this is his gig, and if we're faithful, he'll take care of the detail.

Let's keep our eyes on Jesus!

I had a good friend call me yesterday and through our conversation, just reminded to get the right perspective on some of these things. It's so easy to lose a Kingdom perspective and be reduced to a me perspective. Me perspective stinks. Thanks Sandy, I needed that.

Don't be discouraged!

There are things in life that come your way that threaten you. There are things that threaten to unravel your world. There are things that you think you control over which you have no control. There are things that happen and at that moment make you feel hopeless and then God speaks and he says to you the words he said to Joshua and others so many times before...

Don't be afraid! Don't be discouraged! Remember, I am (I AM) with you!

And then every once in a while he shows up in ways that leave you saying, "Wow, that was God!" I'm sure that when the walls of Jericho came down that was one of those moments for Joshua. A moment that fueled his resolve to do what God had called him to do. A moment that reminded him that this was God's adventure he'd been called to join. It wasn't his adventure and it didn't depend on his resources or abilities...but it depended on his listening and obeying. And obedience comes with a promise from God..."Watch me!" And when we do we are usually left with "Wow!"

We need more "Wow" in our lives! The answer...remember I Am goes with, ahead, beside, behind us and He is for us!

Winter is here!

Winter has come! The kids loved it! I had to do way too much shoveling. Way too much! Don't buy a big house! And don't buy it on a corner lot! I was trying to teach Senzenina not to eat yellow snow, she just didn't get it! I don't know why I'm glad winter is here, this is unlike me, but I'm glad!

Good weekend...

This past weekend began on Thursday. Our annual pastor's and wives retreat in Stratford. We had to drive to Ajax first to drop off the kids and then head out to Stratford, long trip but for three days without kids, it was worth it.

The conference was fun. Really was. Got to know some of the other couples really well and really connected deeply with one other couple. Although there were lots of great connections made throughout the whole weekend.

Good times of worship, listening to each other and where God has us at, no sense of competition, no sense of my church is better, or I know better. Just real brother and sisterhood.

It was a great time, and we (Vun and I) were really glad to have been there.

School Trips & being missional

Went on a school trip to the Pumpkin Patch. Yes, I was the only parent of the male diversity there. And Xanda was kind enough to save me a seat and want to sit with me both ways. She was very proud to have dad there, and dad was very proud to share the occasion with her. It took a while for the other ladies, who obviously do this a lot, to get warmed up to the stranger. But it seemed that as the morning went on they were ok with a guy that got involved with the kids and played with more than his own kids. Interestingly enough, the kids had no problems warming up and talking and playing games.

I've been trying to figure out what is the best way for me to be missional in this setting of school etc. Especially here where they're so open to you just coming and helping. I mean that, if you show up at 9am and want to be a teacher's helper in one of your kid's classes...they'll find a place for you. Anyway, I'd been thinking of reading and coming in for class trips and then on this trip it hit me. I play guitar and sing...so, I talked to Xanda's teacher and her eyes lit up...it seems I'll have to learn some kids songs over the next little while.

I'm looking forward to it, and so is Xanda.

Next week I'll be going on a class trip with Lucas, I'm thinking he won't want to sit with dad both ways, never mind one, but eh, he might surprise me.

What I'm most thankful for

What I'm most thankful for this thanksgiving, as it disappears out of site, is my brother in law, Leo. Vun and I have prayed for and just plain have had a burden for Leo for a long time. Leo is not just a family member, Leo is the kind of guy I love to sit down and have a conversation with, whether we're enjoying a nice cup of coffee or a nice brewski. With Leo everything is what you see is what you get. For a long time Leo has been here and there in regards to his relationship with Jesus. Over the last little while Leo has begun attending his church and this weekend as we talked about it, Leo said when the Holy Spirit is there you just have to stick around and listen. This isn't a church that I would find myself drawn to personally, the fact he would, a non-mask person, truly does say something about the Holy Spirit's touch in his life. Soon Leo is going to be going through membership classes...he never got this involved in the institutional church, but he's finding a place where he's being loved and perhaps most important, he's finding a place where he's discovering that Jesus is calling him to something. He used the word mission without knowing exactly what it meant, and I thought that was cool. Many people have prayed for Leo for many years, and I love what God is doing in his life. Yay God! I like Leo!

opened up an internet cafe tonight...

There were six laptops happening in our home this evening. Actually there were only five on and one extra one. Keith, Vera, Laura and Andrew dropped by. And we opened up an internet cafe.

I love wireless!

Pictures up

Got some pictures up from all the removing of carpets ordeal. Got some others from the kids first days at school and finally got some pictures up after the I set up the office. I didn't include any before pictures of the office or the house, too bad.

Diiiiiaaaaaallllllllllluuuuuppppp

I forgot. I just forgot.

After four or so years, maybe five, was it around that long ago? Anyway, after a long time of Highspeed access to the internet, I just forgot what dial-up access was like. I finished my sermon this morning and began working on my power point presentation (okay, Keynote for those of us in the MAC world) for which I use mainly pictures.

Ever try downloading lots of pictures on dial-up...not a good idea...I spend more time waiting for pages to download than actually getting a picture...and when it finally downloads and it's not the picture you want. I don't think I'll be spending a lot of time in the days of dial-up or in the very least I'll be putting my presentations together at home.

We went highspeed right away, Vun can't do her work on dial-up, thank goodness. It's so easy selling your wife on stuff when she needs it, but that's a whole other post. Anyway, I'm giving up putting my presentation here, heading home and doing it there. What did we do before being spoiled by highspeed? We didn't have powerpoint presentations during messages, that's what!!!

We're off

Yesterday was my first day at work. I took the time to set up the office and begin unpacking my books. I'll get some pictures up soon and take you through our humble church that has a surprisingly large office, which I hope not to spend more time than absolutely needed in. Still, I'm having fun getting it set up and making it a place that can be a little bit of a retreat, not just a working space for me. Today I picked up some lamps to change the lighting that is presently four sets of four (16) overhead flourescent lights. Anyway, I need to finish that up tomorrow, as Monday will be full out preparation for the upcoming weeks sermon. We're also meeting as an executive this coming week to begin discussing where we are, our priorities, where we sense God leading us and how we will get there.

I look forward to be part of a team that doesn't work on a voting system but prays through these things and goes where they feel God's leading. These are not high hopes, this has been the way the executive has operated at Port of Grace, I believe since the beginning.

I met Liz today, the previous pastor, who described POG as the best church on earth, told me she'd kill me if I hurt them, and then she prayed for me. It was a wonderful inpromptu meeting. Liz and her husband, Neil, who were team pastors at POG, left earlier this spring to go plan another church in Guelph. They first service will be on the same day that I preach here for the first time. Next week.

Soon I'll have pictures of the church and our house and all that stuff, I just haven't had time for that at this point, soon though.

A better day...

No, the carpets didn't get any easier. Actually, I didn't do carpets at all today. Instead I had an impromptu visit from a friend bearing Tim's. Well, what was there to be done but spend countless hours talking about church, the future, the Christian life. It was a wonderful day, with a good friend. Easily what I enjoy doing most.

The carpets can wait, at least another day.

wow, where does the time go?

Well, still going hard at the floors, spent the whole day, non-stop, okay, break for dinner, but non-stop otherwise, working on the girls room...that underpadding was glued down everywhere...nasty stuff.
Lucas' room and the main hallway upstairs left to do. Lucas' room should be straightforward as it's an addition to the house and it doesn't have hardwood underneath...no scrubbing. But the hallway promises to be the hardest place yet...it seems that the places that had traffic are the worst...okay you didn't want to read all this...it's just the thing I "feel" the most right now.

Okay, that and my HUGE blister on the heel of my right foot. When I say huge I mean one square inch huge...not a word of exageration. And how did I get that, you might be wondering. Well, another thing I'm liking about getting back to small town living is GOLF. Went out yesterday with Robert (a friend, who paid, so it makes him a real good friend :) Anyway, by the last 6 or 7 holes I knew I was getting a pretty bad blister but I didn't want to sound like a baby and who wants to waste good golfing? I also was afraid to look before I got home. When I did - huge blister with the skin all rubbed off and nothing left but pure flesh and the pain, oh the pain- It was so bad I couldn't finish the last hole, that and my last shot was a good twenty feet past the hole, I'm blaming it on the blister.

okay, enough of the whinning already, souding like my kids. I just noticed...the kids are asleep, it's 9:45pm, the windows are open, and it's quiet...I hear some crickets in the distance but otherwise...not a sound. I was by the 401 in Mississauga. I do love the city, but I can't say I'm missing it a lot right now.

Thursday is my first official day at the church (working that is...okay, getting my office set up) but I don't preach till the 25th so I have a little bit of a break. Will be doing lots of relationship stuff meanwhile.

In truth with all the house stuff, I haven't been thinking a lot about church right now. It's been nice to be there sundays as a visitor. it's also helping me get a better picture of where things are at and what is a priority and things that can wait or don't matter. Once I start I'll begin to let you in on more of that world, for now...I'm still a jobless husband and father trying to make the dwelling fit for habitation for my pregnant wife and three kids.

If you ever want to drop by...I'll probably put you to work :)

While I have a few minutes

I just spent more time than I thought it would take me putting in a new faucet in the kitchen. Old one was way beyond life-span. Gonna go remove some more carpets...thought I'd take a minute or two to comment. Since coming to PC we've discovered several things. People actually go out of their way to talk to one another on the street. And if you look lost, inevitably someone ends up by your side asking you if they can help. Walking around at night, is relaxing, quiet, and liberating. We've also discovered that Senzenina and Lucas are not allergic to bees. Yes, they were both bitten, seems to be lots of bees in PC. As for us, we're still go, go, go. Not really much time for much else for now. When the highspeed access comes up, I'll load some pictures. For now, I'm going to pull up some more carpet. Starting on the upstairs. Our bedroom and the laundry's done, but lots more to do. Talk to you all soon, there's more to tell, but I can't remember right now. We are enjoying this, but will enjoy it much better when all the carpets are gone.

So lonely here

Arrived from holidays to find the blog empty. It felt lonely. Had a wonderful time of holidays at Sandbanks Provincial Park. It truly is an awesome campground to camp. The beach alone, considered one of the best beaches in Canada is worth the time.

Over the last few years we haven't had very good weather on our holidays, dismal really, but not this year. It was always hot and sunny, and people in my family are saying I'm black. Playing around in the water with your kids for hours on end, will do that to you. I do have a headstart with my Angolan heritage.

The beach was sandy white, the water was clear and warm. And the waves, well the waves were the winners for the kids and me too.

All in all a 10+ on this holiday. Lots of fun, lots of family time, lots of ice cream (hmmmm lots of ice cream)

It couldn't have a better time, really couldn't have.

Will probably return there next summer again. Looking forward to it already.

More Car Trouble

Yup. As if $5000 on a transmission wasn't enough, the car's in the shop again.

It seems that when the warranty goes, everything else goes, Murphy's law in action.

Anyway, took the car in this morning, transmission never was the same after we had the new one put in. Gears don't change at the right time, car stalls on occasion and abs light came on yesterday just to add some fun and flare to the events.

To wrap it all up, when I booked my appointment I told them I needed a curtesy car (really a cheap rental is what it works out to), they said fine until I got there this morning and found out that because I didn't fill out a reservation form they didn't have any cars available. Now, isn't that something that they're supposed to think of? So, I'm stuck at home waiting for a call from some people that are going to tell me just how much I need to pay them so I can have my van back. The fun never ends.

Sick

No, not physically sick, the worst kind, heart sick.

Today I had sometime to read some more of "God in the Alley" - Being and seeing Jesus in a broken world.

As I sat there and listened to some of these people's very broken and ravaged pasts, a glimmer of my past came back to me...and then the darkest of thoughts crossed my heart and left me numb.

Lucas is six years old. When I look at him I see purity. Don't get all hung up on theology here. I know my son's fallen, but when I look at him I can see that which Jesus pointed to when he said that if we wanted to enter the Kingdom of Heaven we would have to become like a little child. Lucas is Six. I'm glad that Lucas is six, and I'm glad that unlike so many children, Lucas is protected from the dark parts of this world. For now.

When I was six, the innocence was stolen from me. By the time I was my son's age I had already been manipulated into sexual relations by people that were supposed to love me and protect me. As I though of that, I felt sick and empty.

The only thing that I can say is helping that emptiness, that sickness is this, "Jesus loves me!" It's only there that I can move away from that past and discover meaning and purpose in a Kingdom for the broken.

Please Pray

I know I posted a prayer request yesterday, I normally don't do that, and I never done what I'm about to do, which is to ask you pray for an unspoken prayer request for myself personally.

I'm usually very open, but this time I can't be. If you remember, just pray for me. God knows why.

If you do feel you need details, e-mail me and I'll share with you personally, but it's ok if you just lift up a prayer to God on my behalf. Maybe it's even better.

Thank you for doing that.

Hot

I just had to share that it's hot up here! Really hot. Really, really hot.

It's awesome, really wish they had wi-fi outside, but I will post and head out to finish my new Frank Peretti novel - Monster.

Not as good as some of his better stuff, but good enough to keep you interested. Maybe even a little bit of a let down, when you wait for seven years between novels and the last one wasn't exactly great. Okay, I should say, I didn't find it great. Still, I'm four chapters from the end, so I'm going to go finish it in the shadow of a tree this afternoon.

I brought shorts, but I didn't bring sandals or shoes that work with shorts, so, it's hot, and I'm wearing jeans. Not smart.

Okay, I'm babbling, but that's how this mind works, jumping, jumping, jumping....

Pastor's Conference

As you might have read at "Darryl's" the place is crawling with pastors.

James McDonald is the speaker this year. He's a little wishy washy...ok, just kidding, he lets you know exactly where he stands on everything and if you were to listen it's as if it came down straight from God to him and you wouldn't want to get into an argument with him. Sure he's a good guy with a great heart, but his way is God's way and anyone who thinks different...ok...anyway, at least he's been funny. Does have a lot of good things to say...and so far, hasn't really demeaned anyone. So, I'm tolerating it. It's not that bad. Was expecting it to be worst.

The conference is good, re-connecting with some guys that I've gotten to know over the years. Which is the real reason I come up here, good fun, good conversations and great food.

Had a great night's sleep last night, fell asleep before Darryl, that's got to be a record, didn't use ear plugs and his snoring (yes, he snors (really loud) didn't wake me. It's been the first night I've fallen asleep and slept like that in a long time. Must be the fresh air.

Anyway, one day into it, and I'm having fun.

The Principal's Office

Xanda is in JK. Xanda gets in trouble a lot because Xanda and her best friend don't know how to not cause trouble. Xanda went to the principal's office. Coming home was worst than going to the principal's office. I'm not sure Xanda will go to the principal's office anytime soon.

Painting

Spent the weekend painting. That's all I'll say about that. Ok, and our house stinks right now. Ok, and I don't like painting.

transmission update...

$5000 later we're done. Actually, we were done Thursday nite. People who saw me driving around in a brand new explorer last week, had an interesting first reaction when they first saw the car, as in, "how could you afford this"...when I explained the transmission problems and that the explorer was really just a real expensive rental...then the look went from surprise to sympathy. Oh well, the van's running real nice now. But when you put that much money into a used car you start to wonder. I've figured that in the end it doesn't matter, it all comes out about the same...cars that is. Hopefully, we'll go without car trouble for a while. Like ten years or so.

a transmission, a montana & an explorer

Just as we were arriving home from church yesterday afternoon...I had the distinct feeling of deja vu. As I turned the corner, I pressed the gas, the engine reved wildly, but our '98 Windstar didn't go any faster, instead it began to slow down. Right away I knew what was happening. Something was up with our transmission. How did I know that, besides the obvious answer that it's your transmission that shifts gears, it's happened to me once before, two vehicles ago. We were close enough and going fast enough that I was able to coast into our parking lot. Once there I realized I still had first gear and reverse. So, we could, if we wanted, go somewhere backwards or even forwards, at 20km/h. I was surprised to still have reverse, but I only know that because my dad's a mechanic, so I'll be quiet, and not bore you with an explanation.

Our immediate concern, at the time, we wanted to go Pernell's art show in the evening and besides seeing lots of old friends from College, I wanted to connect with Wilsonian, another Christ-follower-blogger-friend, I've had the privilege of getting to know over the last month or so. So, our immediate concern became renting a vehicle so we could make it. We got a very nice, brand new Montana. Which drove oh so nice. And caused our kids to make statements like, "this is our favourite car!"

We made it! And it was a great time together. Meeting Wilsonian, I don't really call her Wilsonian...was a great time, we ended up doing lots of talking (I'm afraid I might have talked too much) and whatching the evening from the side, and we even bought some art from the silent auction. Which was cool because I pointed out a piece I liked to Vania and she bid on it i